Forum Dads, New and Old. - by Carini
BrokenArts on 8/2/2008 at 16:49
Unless Carini is going to be a dickhead father, which I doubt, what choice will he have but to not get into it knee deep. In the shit of things, and you will. Some of it, you just start doing it, regardless of how you feel about dirty diapers, you'll do it, deal with the late night feedings, runny noses, wet burps, hopefully no colic to contend with. Its a mixed bag of Ewww, and totally cool. Keep those wipes handy, you'll need em.
the_grip on 8/2/2008 at 17:01
i'm a father of a 2 year old and a 3 month old. i tell ya what, nothing scared me as shitless as thinking we wouldn't make it to the hospital for the deliveries.
But, outside of that, fett is right. If you dive in headfirst, you won't believe how much kids change your life (and for the good). i've got two girls, and i would give the whole world and both nuts for them now if i had to.
i'm sure that there is some daddy instinct somewhere, but my level of devotion did not come naturally. i have resented both girls at various points when i get pushed to the brink of beyond exhaustion, but it is at those moments that you really find yourself unable to decide against your children. You'll find yourself bouncing back pretty quick.
Also, don't forget to take care of yourself and your wife. Dates should be a mainstay, and don't give up your hobbies. Those kinds of things will help you get a little moment of escape and things to look forward to when you are trying to get a screaming kid to go to bed at 2:30 AM. Put your wife's needs at the top of the list... that is going to be key.
So far, i adore my kids. i wouldn't trade my situation for the world.
the_grip on 8/2/2008 at 17:05
RE:diapers, yes, get involved. i can't tell you how many shit diapers i've cleaned that have leaked or been reached into at 5:30 AM (and how many baths i've administered then). Our 2 year old has a little bit of a digestive problem she's getting over, and it has been a mess.
My brother-in-law has never changed a diaper. i don't think that is healthy for a father (but that's just my personal opinion). As said above, yes, get in neck deep in all the daddy details... you won't regret it, even though it is a ton of work.
Turtle on 8/2/2008 at 17:12
Anxiety will persist up until the child is born, then it will be replaced by awe and bewilderment.
As soon as you hold your baby for the first time, you'll realize it feels right.
Also, what fett said.
Also, also, change as many poopy diapers as you can in the first week and a half, to build up credit. Their poop doesn't stink for the first week or so, so you'll be ahead on the diaper changing scorecard and can easily weasel out of changing a few doozies.
Also, also, also, don't go near your girl's boobies for many months afterwards, unless you like really sweet milk.
Carini on 8/2/2008 at 17:24
Man! Thanks for all of the great advice, fett, grip & Turtle. Y'all rock! I totally forgot about Turtle's kids. I did jokingly tell my wife "the diapers are all you!" and she responded with "You deal with dead bodies and people's brains at work and you won't deal with dirty diapers??" She has a point. :sweat:
I asked a friend about the anxiety and disbelief and she said "I still didn't believe it up until they plopped the baby into my arms."
Everyone feel free to load this thread with stories about your kids! :D
Stitch on 8/2/2008 at 17:47
Quote Posted by Turtle
Also, also, also, don't go near your girl's boobies for many months afterwards, unless you like really sweet milk.
Finally the practical, hard-hitting advice all new dads need.
Sinister Handed on 8/2/2008 at 18:37
We just had our first, who is about three weeks old now and I'll pretty much echo the comments already posted.
See if the doctor will let you deliver or at least assist with the delivery if you're so inclined. It's easy, mom actually does all of the work, you just have to catch.
Don't forget to take care of mom too. She's going to be exhausted and probably in pain for a good while after the delivery. If you're planning to breast feed, let mom wake up for that and then she can hand the baby off to you for everything else.
Kolya on 8/2/2008 at 19:08
And start calling your wife 'mom'. She'll love it.
nickie on 8/2/2008 at 19:13
Well I just rang my son to ask him how old he was - I ran out of fingers. He's 28 which is a relief because I thought he was 29. My daughter's 25. I haven't forgotten the terror and half way through labour thinking, I don't want to do this. My husband and I were both pretty scared on and off throughout the whole time. But as Turtle so rightly says, once they're there etc.
I didn't however, take said son out in public for at least 3 months in case he screamed. :) I did drop him on his head when he was 6 months, but he was OK (probably). Once I'd done that and found he hadn't broken, I relaxed. I'm happy to say he doesn't bear any grudges!!
@ BA - I wish I'd known that bath thing 28 years ago. My daughter however was never a problem.
Shayde on 8/2/2008 at 19:27
Well I'm 10 weeks pregnant and haven't stopped vomiting long enough to worry about the actual baby.
I can suggest that you try not to spend too much time reading books or net articles about pregnancy. It'll just freak you out about the millions of potential things that can go wrong.
