Forum Dads, New and Old. - by Carini
Carini on 8/2/2008 at 15:42
This might be easier for the newer dads at TTLG but older dads can think back and would have some insight as well.
Think back to you're first child. Your wife is in the middle of your first pregnancy. You've been reading some pregnancy books, magazines and taking in and cataloging all of the sought after AND unsolicited advice.
Let me ask you, at any point during that first pregnancy 'whatnot' did you ever get anxious or nervous or "OH MY GOD I'M NOT GOING TO BE ABLE TO DO THIS"? :sweat: :sweat:
The_Raven on 8/2/2008 at 15:47
Abortions for all!!
BrokenArts on 8/2/2008 at 16:06
OK, a mom will chime in. It goes for both men AND women. Of course, that is a perfectly normal thing to experience. You just have to take it one day at a time.
If I can give one piece of advice, so many parents today, for some reason, have a really hard time getting their kids to bed.
When my daughter was born, my mom stayed with us for a month. She raised 7 kids, she should know a thing or two about kids. I'm the youngest of 7 kids. :p
When my daughter was a new born, we started to give her a bath. So, the same time every night, between 8 and 8:30. We started with a sponge bath, as she got older we progressed to a regular bath. Even if its a sponge bath in the beginning, that routine you establish will lay the ground work for easier times of going to bed. I swear to you, I cannot stress this enough, do the routine, as mundane as it sounds, kids need that. It works. She got used to that, that was her bed time, she knew it. I NEVER had a problem getting that kid to bed, and in her OWN bed.
Just some advice, take it or leave it. Some days you will feel like omygawd! WTF am I doing? You'll get through it. :->
PigLick on 8/2/2008 at 16:10
haha yeh I've been present at 3 births, warts and all. I have kids who are 10,4, and 1+1/2. cooking a nice steak is easy after that shit.
haha once you get to the 3rd kid, fucking sponge baths!? she should be so lucky, she just gets smacked around until she behaves the little shit
p.s i love my kids
D'Juhn Keep on 8/2/2008 at 16:15
Read a pregnancy book!
Carini on 8/2/2008 at 16:16
Thanks BA and Piglick (I'm not worried about my steaks at the moment!!). Sorry I just limited to Dads BA of course Mom insight is just as good! :)
I know fett's a multi kid Dad and Scots and his wife just had one recently so I'm hoping to pick up some good stuff.
I have been reading books. I'm looking for real world insight here, Iggles! Plus sometimes you just want to drop the books, magazines for a bit.
BrokenArts on 8/2/2008 at 16:17
hah, reading books, yeah, works to a point. Real life, dive in and do it. Nothing can really prepare you, you just have to do it!
My daughter will be 13 next Tuesday, gawd help me.
PigLick on 8/2/2008 at 16:30
for fucks sake man, kids will utterly change your life, especially after the second one. Just like a d natural an octave over a B7 chord equals a B7#9, man I know kids like no one else here, except possibly someone who has given birth to more than 2 kids. kids, dont get me started on kids.
haha by that i mean get me started on kids
also books dont work at all haha except when you use them as weapons
hmm probably shouldnt have spouted all that shit, what to do?
fett on 8/2/2008 at 16:43
What Piglick said.
My advice as father of a 2yo and 6yo (and two miscarriages) - get into the kid thing up to your elbows. Change a few shitty diapers, clean up the puke, get up in the middle of the night with them. Because I bet if you don't, you end up resenting them, maybe even thinking life would be better without them. The thing about kids is this: Unless you let them pretty much consume you, and fall in love with them to the point of obsession, they will be a pain in the ass that you always want to push off on someone else.
But doing all that that gross, tiresome, tedious stuff puts you right into the middle of their lives and you'll have a relationship with them that you would have never imagined. You'll start to care more about what your kids think, and what you can do for them, than you will care about anything related to yourself or anyone else.
So yeah, totally normal to freak out. Kids don't have instruction manuals, but I would advise getting to know your kid so well that you don't need books or doctors to always tell you what's going on with them. I know my kids so well I can tell they're going to get sick 2 days prior. I know when something's bothering them, or when they've hidden/lied about something. I know what they'll like to eat before they even try it. Just get in there and be 150% involved in the pregnancy, delivery, and the aftercare and you'll do fine. There are plenty of resources if you get stuck somewhere.
