azrarhn on 4/3/2009 at 12:20
"Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, "Common Sense", who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouth wash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an Aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault. Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust. His wife, Discretion, his daughter, Responsibility, his son, Reason. He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights; I Want It Now; Someone Else Is To Blame; I"m A Victim.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.
copy and pasted this from a different forum. Also if this has been posted before my appologies, but when I read it I thought it was briljant and wanted it to share with others
henke on 4/3/2009 at 12:37
Yeeeeah it was all better in the olden days. Damn kids with their rap music nowadays! *shakes cane in the air*
Briareos H on 4/3/2009 at 12:43
:U
Enchantermon on 4/3/2009 at 12:55
Makes me smile, but at the same time, it makes me shake my head in utter bewilderment at the loss of our dear friend.
Tocky on 4/3/2009 at 12:59
Briljant.
I do understand the sentiment when we pay banks to stay in business who were stupid enough to buy bundled securities consisting of loans they themselves would not make and then give huge bonuses to keep the idiots who got them in trouble.
Rogue Keeper on 4/3/2009 at 13:03
You must understand that these idiots are pillars of our global welfare! We can't let them down.
Tocky on 4/3/2009 at 13:09
True. Excuse me while I go piss on a grave.
Scots Taffer on 4/3/2009 at 13:29
I must admit, to my own grotesquery, that I agree.
rachel on 4/3/2009 at 14:04
Bah, before dying, it did just like Kosh, some people have a little piece of it buried deep in their minds.
Now finding a teep to dig it out so it can be useful, that's the real issue.
Paz on 4/3/2009 at 14:28
In my day people didn't spread source-less/manipulated rubbish filled with meaningless appeals to indefinable wank like 'common sense'
I dunno if that means you have a point or whether it just creates some terrible paradox
Anyway, I'm looking forward to more 'briljant' threads filled with nuggets of shared information like: "British schools to drop holocaust lessons" and "Obama actually a secret muslim terrorist commie space mutant with no birth certificate"