Talgor on 15/12/2005 at 11:33

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...I've only yesterday realized why Ken Rolston was such a familiar name. Argh, how could I forget? This is THE man who made the original PARANOIA!

I feel silly again... -_-''

gunk on 15/12/2005 at 15:42

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yeah me to lol

Striker on 15/12/2005 at 22:39

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Since you do not know what Paranoia is, you are a Communist. Please report to the nearest commanding officer for summary execution.

Also, because you didn't know that Ken Rolston was involved in making Paranoia, a clean up team will be sent to summarily execute you. You are obviously a Communist.

PeeperStorm on 16/12/2005 at 02:44

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*message appears on terminal*
Attention Troubleshooter! The computer has a mission for you. The computer is your friend. Trust the computer. Please report to briefing room Red RXY45J for your new assignment. Your new assignment will make you happy. Failure to be happy is treason. You ARE happy, aren't you? Good! Only communist and mutant traitors aren't happy.

Your new assignment will be very safe, and lots of fun for everyone. Please stop by R&D after the briefing to pick up your new safe and fun experimental weaponry. Failure to test the safe and fun experimental weaponry is punishable by death. Failure to return the safe and fun experimental weaponry in working condition is punishable by receiving a double helping of Hot Fun at your next mealtime.

Please refer to the map, being printed now for your convenience, for the location of briefing room Red RXY45J.

*blank sheet of paper emerges from the printing slot*

Please report to the briefing room in a timely manner, unless you'd prefer reassignment as reactor shielding. The computer is your friend.

Talgor on 16/12/2005 at 12:33

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Well, there! It could use a lot of work, but you're all free to add and improve on it:

TES: MWD Sector (The Legend of Nereva-R-INE)

A lowly RED Troubleshooter, imprisoned in the CDL sector for Loitering In A Public Place, is transported by IntSec to the MWD sector and released. A clone named Socucius-R-GLA, a typical CPU clerk, asks him to fill in many forms with his life's every little detail in them (as usual) so he can be processed properly, then tells him that he can't stamp them and that only his boss, Sellus-G-VUS, can do that. On instructions from The Computer, the Troubleshooter picks up various minor and inadequate equipment on the way, and finally arrives at Sellus-G's office. Sellus-G takes the papers away and tells our intrepid Troubleshooter to go to a subsector (whose location is, naturally, not available to RED Troubleshooters) and meet with his briefing officer, Caiusc-O-SDS. Barely is he out the door when our Troubleshooter is accosted by Farg-O-THH, who pulls rank on him and demands that the Troubleshooter give to him one of the more useful pieces of equipment The Computer provided him with. The desperate Troubleshooter negotiates some additional gear from the local PLC outfitter, Publican-R-ILE before heading out to the wonderful MWD sector.

Eventually arriving in the designated subsector (whether by walking or riding a type ST-1-LT "Strider" transbot), the Troubleshooter queries various clones and bots and finally finds out from Glivasba-R-ELO at the local PLC refectory where Caiusc-O lives. Caiusc-O reveals that he is an IntSec agent, and gives the Troubleshooter an offer to join IntSec. Doing so, the Troubleshooter is instructed by Caiusc-O to go and talk to various informants, such as Anta-B-LIS (with his hobby of collecting Old Reckoning artifacts), Hulee-Y-AAA and Adhi-R-NRR. He learns of the conflict being waged between the High Programmer Dagoth-U-RRR and the sector administrators. One of the informants, Mehram-I-LOH, is revealed to be a high-ranking member of the Romantics secret society, and a member of a plot against sector administrator Vi-V-EHK. The Troubleshooter feels the eyes of Vi-V-EHK's BLUE troopers on him at all times when visiting the extravagant sector headquarters.

Next Caiusc-O sends the Troubleshooter to seek more informants among the various secret societies in MWD sector. Employing his superior bootlicking skills on the blue citizen Zainsu-B-ANI, he manages to find out about a legend among a large group of conspirators, where a hero of the lower classes, Nereva-R-INE, appears and leads the working masses victoriously against Dagoth-U-RRR, Vi-V-EHK and all other oppressors of the working proletariat. After receiving this information, Caiusc-O reveals to the Troubleshooter that he is in reality a VIOLET spy, working for the High Programmer Emperor-U-SPTM (cause for sector name anomaly unknown) and reveals the true mission to the Troubleshooter: He is to pretend to be the promised Communist hero Nereva-R-INE, quell the secret society insurgency, and destroy the mad High Programmer Dagoth-U-RRR. In order to make his task easier, Caiusc-O promotes the Troubleshooter to Orange (which is very useful for somebody pretending to be of Red clearance). Caiusc-O then dispatches the Troubleshooter to the first of the known Communist hideouts to start his mission.

Our Troubleshooter eventually reaches the hideout (after obtaining mission equipment from Crull-I-USS at PLC), hidden in a subsector as inhospitable and barren as the dreaded OUTDOORS sector, and makes contact with the Communist leader Sulmat-UUL (all Communists in MWD sector pretend to be Infrareds in order to garner their sympathies). Unimpressed by the "Nereva-R-INE" ID card provided to the Troubleshooter, Sulmat-UUL sends him to prove his truthworthiness by stealing valuable Computer property. Having accomplished this, the Troubleshooter is allowed to meet the chief propagandist of the Communists, Nibanima-ESA, and learns more Communist Propaganda than is safe for any citizen. Unwisely he reveals it all to Caiusc-O, who starts doubting his loyalty towards Emperor-U-SPTM and The Computer and sends him to exterminate a fortified Communist stronghold. In the stronghold, a mutant servant of the mad High Programmer Dagoth-U-RRR, calling himself Dagoth-G-RES, tries to recruit the Troubleshooter into Dagoth-U's Program Group, promising power, wealth, and close liaisons with clones deprived of hormone suppressants. In a supreme effort of willpower (and the certain knowledge that he'll be even more hosed if he agrees), the Troubleshooter refuses and dispatches the commie. However, he has been subjected to too much Communist Propaganda and starts showing the usual signs: twitching, deformed facial features, and a tendency to burst into the International without prior warning. This prompts Caiusc-O to send the Troubleshooter for a good brainscrub at the Tel-FYR brainscrub center. There the Troubleshooter is subject to all kinds of wonderful treatments and meets the massively obese and ancient Yagrum-B-GRN, who relates to him tales of the misguided Old Reckoning culture that the infamous Ka-G-RNC had been studying, even claiming that he was one of Ka-G-RNC's assistants (having been saved from destruction by a mission to the mythical SPACE sector).

Upon returning to Caiusc-O, the Troubleshooter learns that Caiusc-O is being recalled to CDL sector for investigation into rumours of him having been corrupted by Communist influence (which is what usually happens to VIOLET agents working undercover). Caiusc-O promotes the Troubleshooter to GREEN and tells him to continue to work according to the instructions from Emperor-U-SPTM, and suggests the next step should be to infiltrate the branch of Romantics Mehram-I-LOH is a part of. The Troubleshooter rescues Mehram-I-LOH from an IntSec cell and she leads him to their secret hideout, where they meet the leader of the Romantics, using the assumed name Olivasba-R-ELO, who tells the Troubleshooter how everything happening in the MWD sector is the result of an ages-old grudge between the mad High Programmer Dagoth-U-RRR and the sector administrator Vi-V-EHK. Dagoth-U-RRR was previously Dagoth-V-NIM, and he was working with Vi-V-EHK in a Program Group headed by the legendary evil High Programmer D-U-MAC. D-U-MAC's protege, the traitorous R&D researcher Ka-G-RNC, had developed a brilliant device (some kind of a bot, the notes indicate that both D-U-MAC and Ka-G were involved with Corpore Metal) using an Old Reckoning artifact, which would give him power and acclaim enough to earn a promotion straight to VIOLET, maybe even ULTRAVIOLET! Dagoth-V and Vi-V learned of this, and together with D-U-MAC's assistant, Nere-V-ARR, sabotaged the device so that it vaporized Ka-G and all his assistants, as well as D-U-MAC. After this comes the predictable and massive firefight as each VIOLET scrambles with every resource at his disposal to be the one who claims the device for their own and uses it to ascend to ULTRAVIOLET status. As a result Nere-V is killed, Vi-V appears to succeed, but is ultimately defeated by Dagoth-V, who is better known these days as Dagoth-U-RRR.

Having obtained plentiful rumours pointing to treason among high-ranking citizens, the Troubleshooter decides to loyally continue his mission, especially after hearing Vi-V-EHK has issued a termination order for him.He is helped by the mysterious High Programmer Az-U-RAH, who gives him a well-known Communist artifact, the Red Star. The Troubleshooter infiltrates all known Communist cells. Displaying the Red Star and successfully fulfilling their bizarre initiation rites and convincing them about his identity as Nereva-R-INE (supposedly a clone-derivate of the Nere-V-ARR of legend, whom the Communists see as their hero for some inexplicable reason), the Troubleshooter proceeds to gather signatures from all subsector administrators (like the perverted Crass-I-USS, who's been way too long off his hormone suppressants) to promotion authorizations (claiming they are "just a normal P/D86-Q3, Authorization For Extreme Bootlicking - form") that gives him a practical INDIGO authority. He is then summoned by the sector administrator Vi-V's personal assistant, Saryon-I, who tells him Vi-V wants to see him personally. The Troubleshooter goes to meet Vi-V, who sees in the Troubleshooter a chance to strike back at his old enemy, Dagoth-U-RRR. Vi-V gets the Troubleshooter an offical promotion to INDIGO in a public vidcast and reveals what he knows of Dagoth-U-RRR's plans for the future. Dagoth-U is revealed to be a leader, if not THE leader, of the Psion secret society. It appears that Ka-G-RNC's bot was broken, and Dagoth-U has been feverishly trying to repair it for all this time. Vi-V and his allies have been sabotaging the project as much as possible, so it has progressed slowly, but it's soon nearing completion. The bot, 4K-ULA KH-4N, is a massive warbot designed originally for use by the Armed Forces and IntSec. It is not only capable of destroying any conceivable physical resistance, but turning the very minds and bodies of those it encounters into mutated monstrousities.

Armed with the protective device "CommieGuard" and acting on Vi-V's knowledge, the Troubleshooter acquires the devices "Whining" and "Fragment" from the mutants Dagoth-O-DRS and Dagoth-V-MYN. With all three, the Troubleshooter penetrates into Dagoth-U's headquarters, terminating traitors by the botload, and finally comes face to face with Dagoth-U. After a brief struggle, the Troubleshooter kills Dagoth-U and finds the warbot 4K-ULA KH-4N. Suddendly Dagoth-U appears, boasting that the warbot provides him with instant clone replacements, and attacks the Troubleshooter again. Avoiding Dagoth-U's attacks, the Troubleshooter uses his special devices on the warbot's core, and blows it up before the horrified eyes of Dagoth-U. He returns to Vi-V-EHK, who congratulates him, says everybody in the whole MWD sector owes him their lives, and boots him away from dirtying his clean offices. The End.


Let's see you do better! ;)