Effort. - by Josh68
Josh68 on 18/1/2007 at 22:57
Ok fine. See it's really a problem for me that previous threads have gotten deleted, so I am unsure of whether I can anymore make any statement at all (except in class, I finally got back in school)
What I have determined is that we all live our lives over and over. I am definitely not prepared at this time to provide the proof for this (there is a proof) but I will provide an image.
We are all interlocking rings, in time and space, forming a great chainmaille of sorts in the universe, and holding all of reality together. We don't have infinite mass, we ourselves are only in one place at one time, but we travel our loop infinitely, holding our place within ourselves.
The reason I think this is that I think each self aware body needs constant maintenance. So there always has to be some spark of self-awareness in every self-aware body that ever lived. I think we need to maintain our own existences. Wouldn't that make sense to you?
I think the only way to do this is to repeat our lives until they are perfect. But obviously nothing in this world is perfect. So we repeat this all endlessly. It is the only way for anything to exist, in my mind, if there is constant attention to what exists. I don't think even in my derision of you internet people you could find a problem with that supposition.
Anyways, I might go insane soon, or I might calm down, or something... hell if I know... I was only trying to learn.
Gingerbread Man on 18/1/2007 at 23:01
I thought you said you weren't a Scientologist
David on 18/1/2007 at 23:06
Quote:
<Josh68> are you guys really that fucking controlled? just freak out, I'll help you thorough it
<OnionBob> lol
<OnionBob> "just freak out"
<Josh68> yeah man
<OnionBob> I don't think we're the people who need the dose of cynicism here Skronk
<Pazuzu> expand your miiiiiinnnnnnnddddddddddddddddddddd
<Chimpy> AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
<Chimpy> I just freaked out :o
<SDM|away> oh shi
<Josh68> BOB! I'm not cynical!
<SDM|away> quick ban him dave :(
* Daveh sets mode: +b *!*@Star822027.clv.wideopenwest.com
<SDM|away> oh wow
<SDM|away> I didn't expect that to work
* Josh68 was kicked by Daveh (Le Freak, C'est Chic)
<Fingernail> the power wielded by SDM
<Pazuzu> cut out the poison
<Daveh> I was trying to find the right lyrics
Josh68 on 18/1/2007 at 23:34
I love Chimpy (when are you going to ban me from ttlg (again btw?))
Anyways: Lyrics. :D
Coheed & Cambria - Wake Up
I'm going to ride this plane out of your life again.
I wish that I could stay but you argue.
More than this I wish you could've seen my face
In backseat staring out the window.
I'll do anything for you,
Kill anyone for you.
So leave yourself intact
'Cause I will be coming back.
In a phrase to cut these lips,
I love you.
The morning will come
In the press of every kiss
With your head upon my chest
Where I will annoy you
With every waking breath
Until you decide to wake up.
I've earned through hope and faith
The curves around your face
That I'm the one you'll hold forever.
If morning never comes for either one of us,
Then this I pray to you wherever.
I'll do anything for you.
This story is for you.
('Cause I'd do anything you want me to... for you.)
I'll do anything for you,
Kill anyone for you.
So leave yourself intact
'Cause I won't be coming back.
In a phrase to cut these lips,
I loved you.
The morning will come
In the press of every kiss
With your head upon my chest
Where I will annoy you
With every waking breath
Until you decide to wake up.
The morning will come
In the press of every kiss
With your head upon my chest
Where I will annoy you
With every waking breath
'Til you decide to wake up.
Josh68 on 18/1/2007 at 23:52
Here's something I posted on another forum. Lately I've had trouble steeling myself mentally to go there, or playing the game (it's a wicked game) but hell I've had trouble even reading the news on the internet lately. Something about the possibility of talking to any stranger anywhere in the world willingly (for both of you) makes me a little nuts. Kinda freakish. Anyways, (
http://forum.neocron.com/showthread.php?t=135097) here is what I was actually literally scared of doing for a while. Fuck my mind! (if you haven't already)
Josh68 on 19/1/2007 at 00:48
The problem with internet postings, musings, and rebuttals, is that you don't have the convenience of meeting the opponent in person (I submit every discussion is a discussion of opponents) so in the case of arguments that cannot be proved logically you are lacking information you would have otherwise, from the demeanor, tone of voice, hell just the appearance of the person you are talking to. I so much respect the TTLG Meet for this, but I doubt I would have the guts to meet you guys. Hell given the chance and a doppelganger, I would kill myself on meeting. (Or fuck myself, but that's another story)
So all I can do is piss you guys off. I am going to college now (again; for the 4th time) and for god's sake I want a profession/job/ideal/fucking anything to live by this time. If I don't get it, maybe I really am 'the last martyr' as my so called friends from so many years ago were so fond of calling me. Otherwise I'm just really fucked up. Come meet me please? ;)
Josh68 on 19/1/2007 at 03:36
More lyrics.
Seether - Truth
If I gave you the truth, would it keep you alive?
Though I'm closer to wrong
I'm no further from right
And now I'm convinced on the inside that something's wrong with me
Convinced on the inside, you're so much more than me, yeah
No there's nothing you say that can salvage the lie
But I'm trying to keep my intentions disguised
And now I'm deprived of my conscience and something's got to give
Deprived of my conscience
This all belongs to me, yeah
I'm beaten down again, I belong to them
Beaten down again, I've failed you
I'm weaker now my friend, I belong to them
Beaten down again, I've failed you
The deception you show is your own parasite
Just a word of advice you can heed if you like
And now I'm convinced on the inside that something's wrong with me
Convinced on the inside you're so much more than me, yeah
I'm beaten down
Josh68 on 19/1/2007 at 21:25
Of course I want the world to know about this. I want people to know why I'm such a total asshole. You know why yet? Think about it a bit. I'm 35 and I know for an absolute fact that my mother has hated me since I was 11. That's 24 years of the person who gave you life wishing they hadn't.
Gingerbread Man on 19/1/2007 at 23:23
AGH SEPTUPLE POSTING >:(
Josh68 on 20/1/2007 at 12:46
Sorry. I would have edited my posts but I wanted to update the thread in a way that would let people know I am dealing with this.
P.S. I'm sorry also for being such an insufferable cunt. But it's the only way I could remain peaceful with the people I actually deal with every day. Thank god for internet. I might be in prison if I didn't have a way to express anger in a somewhat less harmful manner.
