Sypha Nadon on 25/7/2006 at 03:22
Have you ever had moments in your life, maybe even long periods of time, where everything seemed, I don't know, hopeless? A feeling that you're... trapped, in a reality you despise? Moments of time in which you're utterly disgusted by everything around you? Feelings of... rage, depression, utter sadness, feelings of imminent psychosis?
I don't know... there have been so many times over the last few years, ever since I graduated college, where I feel like I'm in danger of having a nervous breakdown. I constantly feel like I'm walking on a tight-rope between sanity and insanity. Initially, I chalked it up to my immature youth, but it seems the older I get, the worse and worse it gets. I think I'm starting to reach a point where my obsessive worry about my poor health, my disgust over my job and my living environment, is reaching some kind of critical mass. Sensations that I'll be trapped in this prison forever, or at least until death. Almost nothing gives me pleasure anymore. I just can't forsee a positive future for myself. Maybe some people can accept the reality of their situation and learn to adapt, but I don't think I'm one of those people. I mean, I try hard to embrace the Buddhism mindset, but it's difficult, you know? Non-humans I can relate to, but I find that the human race is just really... I don't know. Mostly scum. Maybe after nearly ten years of retail I'm getting burnt out or something. But I can't think of a job I'd be better at. There's almost no one in real life I can discuss this with at the moment, as my mom is recovering from surgery and I don't want to burden my family with my own problems. All my online friends think I should see a therapist or go on anti-depressants or something, but you know my phobia about medication... I'm worried that popping pills might make me even more unstable then I already am. Christ, what a mess. Plus, the shame that goes with admitting you have problems.... I don't know if I could bear it.
OMG totally Skronk...:tsktsk:
Seriously, if I hear that damn "Had a bad day song" or "You're beautiful" or fuckin' Rod Stewart's fucking cover of "Blue Moon" from his "Great American Songbook" series, I think I'll lose it. This AOR banality. It's disgusting. Blah.
metal dawn on 25/7/2006 at 03:27
Quote Posted by Sypha Nadon
"You're beautiful" ....
Blah.
Well, (
http://weirdalnewsong.ytmnd.com/) Al Yankovich has a very special message for Jimmy Blunt.
EDIT: I was totally about to cry
"SKRONKTASTIC" but it seems you already saw that coming (very good work)!
Banksie on 25/7/2006 at 03:34
I'd suggest seeing a psychiatrist. One of the best locally out here is a blind man - because he doesn't see you he actually listens rather than making judgements purely from visual impressions. You might like to see if you can get someone like that yourself.
Scots Taffer on 25/7/2006 at 03:39
Sometimes I feel like everything around me is moving too fast, like literally, I feel like reality is sped up, my heart is beating faster, every movement is exaggerated and pronounced, every motion and thought makes my head hurt because it's happening too quickly, everything is happening in that moment, the precious moments of time are ticking away, tick, tock, life is fleeting past, tick tock, <strike>and I always say I'll never do speed again, but...</strike>
Seriously though, fucking see someone. A therapist. Someone who won't throw drugs at you as some sort of catch-all solution. God knows if your friends don't think they can help you, family usually sucks, so get someone who knows what they're dealing with. Ultimately though, looking from help outside is always going to fall over if you aren't willing to deal with certain truths about yourself and manage them.
Aja on 25/7/2006 at 03:55
This isn't a Skronk thread because it involves an ACTUAL problem.
I second some sort of therapy... drugs would only treat the symptoms.
aguywhoplaysthief on 25/7/2006 at 04:15
Quote Posted by Sypha Nadon
Have you ever had moments in your life, maybe even long periods of time, where everything seemed, I don't know, hopeless? A feeling that you're... trapped, in a reality you despise? Moments of time in which you're utterly disgusted by everything around you? Feelings of... rage, depression, utter sadness, feelings of imminent psychosis?
No.
FYI, you don't have to fill the subscriptions that doctors give you.
Epos Nix on 25/7/2006 at 05:14
You mentioned Buddhism; I'd recommend a nice monestary somewhere in Nepal. Fewer crappy humans there. Seriously.
Mr.Duck on 25/7/2006 at 05:45
Quote Posted by Sypha Nadon
Have you ever had moments in your life, maybe even long periods of time, where everything seemed, I don't know, hopeless? A feeling that you're... trapped, in a reality you despise? Moments of time in which you're utterly disgusted by everything around you? Feelings of... rage, depression, utter sadness, feelings of imminent psychosis?
Yeah. It's called teenagerism.
:cool:
But, seriously...chill, Syph. Go out more often, cut a bit from your daily crap and smell the roses, watch more men wanking off or something. :)
*Pats*Ko0K on 25/7/2006 at 06:12
I really do not intend to condescend to you with an advice or anything, but I believe the first thing you have to realize is that you have an issue to resolve, in that you are not in your optimal state. Forget trying to be normal, as you're just going to stress yourself out. Just hang out with people who make you feel comfortable to be around, and most likely you'll just feel better about yourself. Maybe you should stop taking life and yourself too seriously, just do what you've got to do, and spend your free time doing something stupid and mindless. It would probably help if you stop expecting too much of yourself.
Well, it does sound like an advice, but it's just MHO.
Thief13x on 25/7/2006 at 06:18
heh man is it nice to know im not the only one. I'm planning on taking advantage of the free therapy available from college when I return in the fall. Hopefully I can get on some meds. I've been dealing with bouts of depression for a few years now, I hit a euphoric high for about 4 - 6 months and always thenafter, when I think I have finally constructed the ultimate method of blocking it out and not caring, hit a record low for the same amount of time. The psychological description that best fits my lows is "panic attack" and occasional severe social anxiety disorder, but it's constant, interrferring with my daily life to the extent of holding back tears regularly for no conspicuous reason. All I know is that I hate the way I think people see me I think. I find that concentration exercises and self-hypnosis help in the longer run while alchohol, and cigarettes to some extent, are the immediate and temporary fix. Ugh, i'm dying to get out of this low now going on 4 months. Thank god it should be almost over:sweat:, college, and hopefully help, are just around the corner. I'm not trying to get attention, even a response, just hopefully give somone else what I need...somone else who empathises
