Ulukai on 17/3/2008 at 21:30
If the thread title is just numbers to you, or you're a member of some kind of lets-hold-hands-and-hug-a-tree hippy group...you might want to leave.
Last weekend, I finally got chance to thrash an Aston Martin DB9 around an old airfield. Fuck yeah :D
It's a very attractive car. It's possibly one of the prettiest cars there is, but it's not for girls. Sorry ladies, but it's not. I mean, look at it. Huge, curvaceous, haunches which mean serious business covering grippy 275/35 R19 tyres which just about keep it tethered to the road. In what I'm sure Aston don't describe as metallic battleship grey you can park it next to a Ferrari and suddenly the Italian Horses look like they're made from red polypropylene that may blow away in the wind. It is an object of unbridled joy to be ogled and driven hard.
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http://www.zen80200.zen.co.uk/p1.jpgAston PornThe airfield where the deed will be done is a good 90 minutes drive from my house, and there's a bit of an impromptu time trial session on the way there when my navigator directs me into the middle of an industrial estate. We've got about 35 minutes to go until I'm supposed to be easing out onto the track. Shit. Where the fuck are we? It's all so flat it's hard to pick anything out. We're in the middle of pretty much nowhere, so about 60 seconds later deserted road, right foot, floor, supercharger and a new sense of direction meet and 10 minutes of 12mpg later we pull into the airfield car park. The navigator's gone a bit white. (She'll be ok, I put it down to the cold.)
Pretty much the first thing you notice when you get out the car is the noise. The noise of an assortment of supercars thundering around at well over a ton. Brilliant.
Sobering things first, like specifying out who to notify
if I die. Ok, done that. Would I like to buy a damage waiver for 20 quid? You bet I would. Don't really fancy a bill for 100K if I crash the Aston. That's assuming, of course, that I don't take out one of the Italians at the same time. So I pays my 20 quid, I'm good.
I've got about 20 minutes to kill, so I have a look round and see what keeps hurtling past: DB9, Vantage, Maserati Gran Turismo, Audi R8, some kind of Ferrari I can't quite identify, Ferrari 360, Suburu Impreza WRX STI, Lamborghini Gallardo (two of these), and a supercharged Hummer of all things. The Germans were represented by some kind of Porsche that looked the same as one they made 30 years ago, but meh to that.
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http://www.zen80200.zen.co.uk/p2.jpgThe ItaliansIt's time! Sit through an instructional DVD in what amounts to a shed being told exactly what to do and what not to do. In the unlikely even that you die, they can gleefully jump up and down and point out that they told us not to, thus absolving themselves of all blame. Fair 'nuff. "Can we have the first three drivers please?" He might as well have been speaking greek, everyone stands there looking bemused, so I take advantage and make a beeline for the car that's just pulled up, and I'm in the first to go round on my familiarisation laps. So first up, two laps sitting in the back of a BMW Alpina D3, being shown the turn in and braking points, and to get a feel for the track. It's pretty much all going in one ear and out the other, but I get a rough mental map of the corners. Get on with it! I really want to get in the Aston.
Finally, it's time. I choose a well fitting helmet from the shed ('very sexy', says my navigator, drolly) and march over to where the DB9 is sitting. And I get in. And if you remember the bit in (
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0091042/) Ferris Bueller's Day Off where Ferris borrows Cameron's Dad's car, you'll know what face I was pulling. Most disconcertingly, the instructor has all the mirrors adjusted so he can see out the back and I can't. Obviously, he's not going to have me plough into another car, but for any half-decent driver it's a very peculiar feeling. Quick briefing on how the paddle-gearshift works, and we're off.
We're off? I didn't even know it was turned on. It's quiet at low revs, really quiet. I pull off down the pit lane, it's quite civilised - you could easily drive it round town no problem at all. Halt at the end to let a Subaru roar past, and then I pull out onto the circuit. I spend the first lap smoothly putting the power down and getting a feel for how much grip the car has, and getting in the way of some single seaters. Once the first lap is over, and my instructor is confident I'm not about to launch us into a field of turnips, he's happy for me to plant my foot into the carpet some more.
Pull round onto the start of the main straight, full power and fuuuuuuuuuck! :D Fuckety fuck fuck. Instant boner (no, not literally). It's not so much the acceleration, it's the brute force and volume of the V12. There's at least 30 russians under the bonnet swinging anvils in perfect harmony judging from the noise, and all too quickly, I'm at the first corner. "Brake" "Brake!...Harder!". I'm just messing with him. I brake. The straights are the easy part, the corners are tricky and oh-so-much fun. I cannot begin to describe the sheer amount of grip this thing has. There's no way you can drive this thing to it's limit on the road, you begin to feel what a heavy car it is when you turn it into the corner, but it never once feels like it's going to let go.
I brake way too early for the next corner, and then... "Watch out for the Ferrari" WHAT? I can't see in my mirrors and I sure as hell can't turn my head much with the helmet on or even have a chance at seeing much out the ridiculously small rear quarter light windows. There's a rule on the track that you're not supposed to pass the other cars on a corner (we're all only amateurs after all). The Ferrari cuts me up as I'm turning into the corner and there's very nearly tears. Chasing him down the straight, the Ferrari pulls off into the pits, possibly for a bollocking and at the request of the instructor in that car, as he puts his hand out the window in apology. What a fucking tool.
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http://www.zen80200.zen.co.uk/p3.jpg It's me! Oh, look a red bag of spanners behind meThe next 2 laps are uneventful but my God, this is fun. Go sailing past a couple of tentatively driven Subarus and a Vantage, then thrash it out to 130mph on the longest straight. And then, after 7 miles round the airfield, it's all over.
"Good?" My grin says it all. I get out the car, I'm full of adrenaline and I'm still grinning like an idiot. Fucking awesome.
Highly recommended :)
