Bluegrime on 15/9/2020 at 03:32
Why don't seagulls fly over the bay?
Because then they would be baygulls.
bob_doe_nz on 17/9/2020 at 04:46
Why is the Invisible Man the worst lawyer?
He can never appear in court.
...
What do you call a Mexican space chicken?
Apollo
...
Two pieces of Road walk into a bar
They order two large beers and talk loudly, they are the toughest pieces of road in the building.
15 minutes later, a small piece of pavement walks through and asks for a small orange juice. When the roads see him, they move into the corner and stay quiet.
The bartender notices this and goes over to them and says “I thought you two were the toughest they come, why are you scared of that small, quiet guy?” They respond with:
“You should be careful with him, He's a Cycle Path”
Stefan_Key on 17/9/2020 at 22:16
Pharmacie de la Rotonde, Paris
- I want some condoms please.
- Here ! Do you want a bag ?
- No, thank you. She's not that ugly.
Nameless Voice on 18/9/2020 at 10:14
"To the person who stole my spectacles. I will find you.
I have contacts."
-
"Why do police get to riots early?
To beat the crowd."
-
There's (
https://twitter.com/Dadsaysjokes) an account on Twitter that posts nothing but these.
hopper on 18/9/2020 at 18:21
Did you hear about the plumber who got fired for stirring up shit?
Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
They taste funny.
PigLick on 20/9/2020 at 12:57
What is gods favorite chord
Gsus
Stefan_Key on 20/9/2020 at 21:48
How is called a million bites from Superman's superdog on a supervillain?
A megabyte.
bob_doe_nz on 21/9/2020 at 05:52
I had a date last night. I really enjoyed it.
Tonight I'm going to have a fig.
Bluegrime on 22/9/2020 at 13:03
A piece of string walks into a bar.
The bartender looks at him and says "we dont serve string"
So the string goes outside, roughs up his hair and gets himself all twisted up over the whole thing.
A few minuets later he walks back in the bar, bartender looks at him again and says "hey, aren't you that string I saw earlier?"
"Nah, I'm a frayed knot."
DarkForge on 26/9/2020 at 14:57
So I've just made a pair of shoes out of banana skins.
I call them slippers.