bob_doe_nz on 6/9/2020 at 08:38
Did you hear about the mathematician who was afraid of negative numbers?
He would stop at nothing to avoid them.
...
I wasn't close to my father when he died.
Which is lucky because he stepped on a landmine
...
Whats brassy and sounds like Tom Jones?
Trombones.
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What do you call a kid who is half French and half Scottish?
A oui lad.
Tocky on 6/9/2020 at 22:50
My wife yelled from another room asking if I ever got a shooting pain like someone was stabbing my voodoo doll.
I told her no.
She asked "how about now?"
Starker on 7/9/2020 at 14:14
Quote Posted by bob_doe_nz
Whats brassy and sounds like Tom Jones?
Trombones.
Also, Tom Jones.
A sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here."
Nicker on 7/9/2020 at 19:12
A piece of string walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve string here".
The piece of string ducks into the alley and twists himself into a human like form with a loop for a head, knots for his shoulders and waist. He unravels the ends of his limbs to resemble toes and fingers.
Back in the bar, his ruse works and he gets served. But the bartender keeps giving him dirty looks, which makes the string very nervous. Finally the bartender comes over and asks, "Are you really a person"?
The string finally cracks and confesses, "No. I'm a frayed knot".
driver on 8/9/2020 at 11:13
Taken from a conversation in GW2 just now:
Me: The chests there contain a lot of salvageable leather
Guild member: Salvageable leather. Sounds like my grandmother.
Me: She'll make a great pair of shoes on day, I'm sure
Me: Especially if she's your step grandmother
Nicker on 8/9/2020 at 14:51
groaaaannn
but quick witted
Nicker on 9/9/2020 at 04:25
That's a don't wanna be a dad joke.
Pyrian on 11/9/2020 at 05:35
A few years ago, we'd never heard of gender reveal parties.
Now they're spreading like wildfire.
bob_doe_nz on 12/9/2020 at 06:15
Did you hear about the Mexican train killer?
He had locomotives
...
Everyone was excited at the autopsy club
It was open Mike night.
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A storm knocked off 25% of my roof last night
Oof!