RavynousHunter on 12/7/2009 at 05:33
Personally, so long as you keep the little monsters away from me, I don't care. I'm probably not going to have a kid until I'm like ... 40, but there's a damn good reason for that: I don't have the money to fund a little yelling monster of my own. That and I'm in love with my free time. I know, I'm a selfish bastard and blah blah blah. I admit that I'm a selfish, arrogant, egotistical prick, and it's a fact I freely accept; it's who I am, and as I rule I like me.
I do plan to, once I get my shit together and do at least some of the things I want to do with my life, contribute to the gene pool and general population. I owe it to humanity. Superiority needs to be spread, after all. :thumb:
june gloom on 12/7/2009 at 08:03
The trick to raising a well-behaved child is knowing how to say "no." Most parents don't.
It's my philosophy that when you have a little monster running around, don't punish the kid, punish the parent. (
http://bash.org/?777977) Case in point.
Bad parents aren't necessarily neglectful or uncaring; the worst parents- the ones who truly fuck up their children- are the ones who don't know how to reinforce good behaviour and stop bad behaviour.
RavynousHunter on 12/7/2009 at 08:44
Never thought I'd say this about something dethy said but... DAMN RIGHT. :thumb:
Vasquez on 12/7/2009 at 08:57
Quote Posted by Tocky
Okay, I know I would urge a jumper off a bridge but doesn't "breeders" just smack you in the face with self righteous holier than thou snide perjorative?
The "certain type of parents" I referred to with that label are the ones who spontaneously combust at the thought of someone not wanting kids, take that choice as a personal attack against their own choice, and react accordingly.
There's also kind of bening breederism, these supermoms and -dads try to persuade the childfree person to see the light with soft baby-talkish nagging about the joys of parenthood and passive-aggressive warnings like "You'll end up aaallll alooooneee!" or "Your husband will surely leave you when he realises he wants a
Real Woman who wants to be a mommy!"
They also like to expose the childfree to their own kids at any opportunity, because one sign of breederism is the assumption that
my child isn't just
any child - not just to me but to the whole universe - so s/he is the wonderkid who will surely convert anyone from childfreedom ;)
(The Wonderkid-aspect of breederism has other manifestations, too, of which dethtoll already mentioned.)
Of course, most parents are not breeders but good parents and normal people, but if you recognize yourself from the description above, it's hardly the fault of whoever came up with that label :p
Taffer36 on 12/7/2009 at 09:08
Oh, are we returning to at least a half-intelligible discussion? Okay.
Who gives a fuck. That's what I say. A few people have made it seem like, somehow, we owe it to society or that we owe it to the world or... SOMETHING (somebody implied this, right? All this asshatery is confusing me)... Yes, yes, via evolution or religion or whatnot we are meant to be compelled to have children and to pass our genes on, but in this day and age and how society has morphed AWAY from the chaos of species fighting against one-another to have survival of the fittest, it's a fairly moot point. You shouldn't feel compelled by society to have children, and it isn't some responsibility to have them, either.
That said, having children is a wonderful thing. I can't speak from experience (waaaaaaay too young), but someday I do think that I would like to have children. It's certainly a different type of lifestyle and it's that concept of having a family of your own to share your life with as you raise human beings and watch them grow, nudging them in the right directions. But it's not a responsibility. And if you have children you shouldn't think to yourself, "Damn, look at all of these responsibilities that I've taken upon myself to raise these children!" If this is how you view it then you have everything upside down. It's about wanting to experience a different lifestyle, and NOTHING more. As someone else stated, wanting that experience is no less selfish than not wanting it. Neither option is BAD, it just depends what you want in life.
Fingernail on 12/7/2009 at 09:19
It became weird when Vasquez started talking about what sounds like a "childfree" community - "breeder bingo"? You have your own subculture now? What is going on.
RavynousHunter on 12/7/2009 at 09:24
Also, who's to say that your life would be boring with a kid and spouse? Sure, you couldn't run around like David Tennant and do random things, but you can have fun w/ your kid; play some games together, take 'em to things like sporting events and carnivals, and maybe even run around acting like complete idiots. I can certainly see where having a kid could be hella fun, at least when they're like 6 years-old. I have also seen, personally (via my cousin's son), how annoying, loud, and somewhat gross infants can be. The infant part is what I don't look forward to, at least not until I am a bit more patient. (I would say "grown up," but I've made it my personal mission to NEVER grow up.)
Vasquez on 12/7/2009 at 09:40
Quote Posted by Fingernail
It became weird when Vasquez started talking about what sounds like a "childfree" community - "breeder bingo"? You have your own subculture now? What is going on.
Sure there are social groups in the internet for the childfree (as there are groups for everything else), what's so weird about that? I would hardly call it a subculture, though :joke:
I'm a member of a Finnish group, we have lots of meetings and such, it's really fun. And no, we don't spend the time raging about how horrible kids and parents are, we just sometimes enjoy the company of adults who are like-minded in this matter :)
Then there are those who meet really strong judging or persuasion IRL from people around them, I've heard some hair-raising stories of mother-in-laws who openly wish birth control failure or siblings who demand the childfree to put down their pets, so the sibling can visit with an allergic kid, and so forth. These are the childfree people who really need a "support group".
Shadowcat on 12/7/2009 at 11:19
Count me in as someone whose level of interest in procreating has been an unwavering zero since I was old enough to contemplate the idea.
Curiously enough, neither of my siblings (both older) have had kids either, and I'll be a little surprised at this point if either of them ever do.
Thirith on 12/7/2009 at 11:24
If it's not too personal: what sort of relationship do you have to your parents, Shadowcat? And do you think they were good parents? I'm asking because I've seen a number of couples who don't want children, whose relationship to their own parents was less than ideal. Don't think it has to be like that, but it's an interesting pattern.
