Cross my heart, hope to die (with pictures)... - by PeeperStorm
PeeperStorm on 30/3/2010 at 08:10
...stick two or three needles in my eye.
Thought I'd add another entry in the long tradition of bitching about stuff here. The story begins about two weeks ago when I woke up one morning with an annoying uneven blurriness in my right eye. After a few hours of it not going back to normal, I made a trip to the eye doctor. The usual waiting room wackiness ensued, including me hilariously giving the receptionist an insurance card from my previous coverage, which had expired in 2006. Might be time to clean out my wallet...
After much examining, the technicians, assistants, nurses, and one circus clown had put about 12 different kinds of drops in my eyes. Some dialated my pupils. Some numbed the surface of my eyes. Some were regular eye drops. I think one of them might have temporarily turned my eyes inside-out, but that's just speculation. They also sat me down in front of a contraption that used Frickin' Lasers to take pictures of the inside of my skull or something. Luckily there was no brain to block the view.
Finally the doctor came in and told me that it looked like I had a Thing in my eye. He used bigger words, but that was the level of my understanding at the time. He told me that they usually see this kind of problem in patients with severe diabetes. Then, having stressed me out, he took my blood pressure. For some reason it was slightly elevated. :rolleyes:
They needed to verify the diagnosis with an Extra Special Test that they don't have the equipment for. Unfortunately, there is only one Extra Special Camera in this entire town (whose third biggest industry is health care BTW), and that particular camera was broken. Could I please drive way the fuck up to Oregon to get it done? K thx bye.
Next stop was the regular doctor for some blood tests. The office is conveniently located 100 feet from the eye doctor, so yay! Turns out that I'm not diabetic at all. Double yay!
One week later I recruit a driver (thanks Mom!) and make the pilgrimage up to Medford. Along the way I get to see:
* Black Butte, which I note looks like Mt. Shasta's grumpy little brother.
* Signs on the downhill grades that indicate a special lane for RUNAWAY TRUCKS. Is it really that common a problem that they need an extra lane for it? I am not reassured.
* A combination gas station and gigantic liquor store. For when, you know, you need to booze up when driving through the middle of nowhere on treacherous mountain roads. Maybe it has something to do with the runaway trucks. Once again, I am not reassured.
* Several roadside statues that appear to be made of trash. People make their own fun there I guess.
The town of Medford itself appears to have no purpose other than to supply medical care to the entire Pacific Northwest.
In the new doctor's office the technician explains how the test will work. They'll inject me with dye, and then take a bunch of pictures of the insides of both of my eyes over the following 10 minutes to get a time lapse view of blood flow and stuff. He tells me that the side effects of the dye can include making my skin yellow, turning my urine the color of anti-freeze, causing nausea, and potentially fatal allergic reaction. I am not reassured.
Since the tech was burning the images onto a CD for my eye doctor anyway, I got him to burn another one for me. He didn't charge me for it, and here are a couple of the pictures:
Left
Inline Image:
http://img190.imageshack.us/img190/7100/lefteyei.jpgRight
Inline Image:
http://img62.imageshack.us/img62/8053/righteye.jpgThe left one is normal. The right one is the one that looks like an infrared aerial view of a bombing run. The "clouds" are blood leaking under the retina.
On the trip back we stop in the town of Weed for a restroom break. It looks like
exactly the kind of town where weed is the major source of entertainment. At the end of the trip I drop the CD off at the doctor's office.
So today I went to the Peeper Doctor for the first treatment, which consisted of STICKING A NEEDLE INTO MY EYE! AAAAAHHHHHH! Just kidding. He did give me a shot in my eye, but it's only about as bad as getting a regular shot. The drug they used hasn't actually been approved for eye treatment, but it
is commonly used to treat colorectal cancer. Guess I now have medical confirmation that I've got my head up my ass.
It's several hours later, and I already see some improvement in my right eye. One or two more shots over the next couple of months should take care of the rest of it.
gunsmoke on 30/3/2010 at 11:54
Man. I literally take time every single day to appreciate my eyesight. I never take it for granted. I will someday be totally blind, and I am legally blind in one eye already. My vision constantly degrades, and I get a new prescription at least annually, sometimes twice a year. My grandpa has Macular Degeneration, too. Anyway, I hope everything pans out. Best wishes, PeeperStorm (ironic name?)
Scots Taffer on 30/3/2010 at 12:18
post+username
Matthew on 30/3/2010 at 12:30
Ouch! Glad to hear that your vision is improving, PeeperStorm.
BrokenArts on 30/3/2010 at 13:10
I would of tried to close my eye when that needle was coming straight for it. No way man.
Glad you'll see the light at the end of the tunnel.
fett on 30/3/2010 at 13:48
WTF THEY STUCK A FUCKING NEEDLE IN YOUR EYE. You're a brave woman - I would have opted for permanent and debilitating blindness. Glad to hear it's fixable. What would the world be without BA's viewpoint? :)
june gloom on 30/3/2010 at 15:08
AHHHH NEEDLE IN THE EYEFEUGOEFP
Hopefully it clears up though!
Matthew on 30/3/2010 at 15:20
Quote Posted by BrokenArts
I would of tried to close my eye when that needle was coming straight for it. No way man.
Glad you'll see the light at the end of the tunnel.
For those of you without gravatars, what makes this hilarious is that BA's gravatar has one eye closed in a squinty wink.
Mr.Duck on 30/3/2010 at 15:20
*Licks Peeper's eyes*
