SlyFoxx on 17/1/2008 at 14:28
See this is were it gets sticky when there is sex in a relationship without a real commitment. Yeah, the M word! I'm sooo old fashioned. (BTW married since May 1993...no shenanigans here.) Sometimes a commited relationship is f'ing boring but the benifits completly outweigh the odd rough period. You have to work at it just like anything else that is worthwhile.
But forgiveness in the light of true change and redemption though difficult is something to which we should all aspire.
If you decide you can forgive fine. But unless you put a ring on that finger and she accepts what kind of commitment do you think either really has to the other?
@ anybody who is tempted...Please spare me the "You can have a committed relationship without marriage" crap. Of course it's possible but the institution of marriage is prevalent in modern society for a reason.
Fingernail on 17/1/2008 at 15:12
What kind of commitment do you think marriage really means to some people these days?
Carini on 17/1/2008 at 15:39
Did you ever think that maybe after all of this, she doesn't want a 2nd chance with you. Sounds like you need to have a discussion. It might not be up to you whether this relationship continues or not.
My ex-wife cheated on me. At first I thought maybe we could work it out. She told me we could possibly work through it but you know after the few talks we had after it all happened I slowly realized it was over and I cut the line not because I felt she didn't deserve a 2nd chance but more because I knew it was truly over.
SlyFoxx on 17/1/2008 at 16:18
Quote Posted by Fingernail
What kind of commitment do you think marriage
really means to some people these days?
Well not much in many cases to be sure. But that does not dismiss the importance of honor, discipline and keeping your word just because it's the right thing to do...even when nobody is looking.
Biohazard on 17/1/2008 at 17:39
She says she wants a second chance, which is why I'm even having to make this difficult choice. I want to believe that she learned from her mistake, we all make mistakes, and she does seem remorseful...but I'm hesitant.
No, this isn't a marriage and I'm not going to treat it as such. But I do believe that forgiveness is a part of love, however the best thing to do may be to forgive her and move on in my life. Many things to think about... :erg:
Thief13x on 17/1/2008 at 22:07
time to start thinking with your dick again bro:D
srry...I know the feeling...I was there once:( i'd say adios, and leave the other dude with a blue eye
i'll spill it: the first time I forgave her, the second time I got pissed at her, and the third time I dumped her. Like they say...cut out the middleman
crunchy on 18/1/2008 at 00:29
If you do decide to give her a second chance then the most important thing to do is drop the whole thing. Don't let this incident continue to nag you. Most of all don't use it against her. A few days/months/years from now when you are having an argument don't bring out the "cheater" card.
Unless of course she cheats again and then it's sayonara!
TTK12G3 on 18/1/2008 at 00:43
Ehhhh..... I'm going to go ahead and say that you should consider staying. As you said, you have not given much background for any of us to give you a full round of consideration.
Personally, I would lean towards leaving, but I'm a pessimist. :erg:
AxTng1 on 18/1/2008 at 23:44
IDDQD
Spaztick on 19/1/2008 at 01:37
Quote Posted by Biohazard
She says she wants a second chance, which is why I'm even having to make this difficult choice. I want to believe that she learned from her mistake, we all make mistakes, and she does seem remorseful...but I'm hesitant.
No, this isn't a marriage and I'm not going to treat it as such. But I do believe that forgiveness is a part of love, however the best thing to do may be to forgive her and move on in my life. Many things to think about... :erg:
If you want my opinion again, I still say no. I bet she isn't even lying to you about wanting a 2nd chance and that she learned from her mistake, but I'm willing to bet that she's just saying that out of what caused this problem to begin with: a fleeting emotion. I still say break up with her and give it time. If she's serious you'll know in a few weeks/months. If she's not then you'll know that too and you'll come out a winner either way.
