Asked Chat GPT to rewrite the old rap song Boyz n the Hood into a song about corporate culture, and personally, I think it's hilariously brilliant
Quote:
Woke up quick, at about quarter to eight
Checked the shares, pre-market lookin’ great
Gotta make moves, before the Street reacts
Feelin’ bullish on the quarter, time to drop some facts
Jumped in the Benz, leather case in the seat
Rockin’ Brooks Brothers threads, spreadsheets on repeat
Hit the Zoom call, CFO’s got a plan
Talkin' buybacks, dividends, and a strong brand
🎙 Hook:
🎶 ‘Cause the stakeholders in the boardroom always talk stats
Power lunches, LinkedIn stunts, and year-end spats
Gettin’ stock tips, pitch decks, and quarterly clout
If you ain’t bringin’ profit, they gon’ vote you out 🎶
🎙 Verse 2:
Pulled up to the firm with the mission in hand
Gotta charm these investors, gotta pitch that brand
The board's real tight, with their suits and egos
Private equity sharks, chuggin’ cappuccinos
ESG talk, yeah it sound all good
But the moment it dips? Man, they cut like wood
So I keep it tight — ROI’s my creed
Feeding data to the analysts who feed that greed
🎙 Hook:
🎶 Stakeholders in the boardroom movin’ in silence
Hostile takeovers dressed up like compliance
Playin’ golf on the course, deal’s sealed with a grin
Welcome to the game — only rich folks win 🎶
🎙 Verse 3:
IPO dreams, champagne on tap
VCs tryna flex, but we run the map
CEO with a vision, like a Wall Street preacher
MBA from Wharton, now a LinkedIn feature
Said “pivot” five times in a single call
Didn’t say nothin’ — still impressed them all
Got interns grindin’, 80-hour weeks
No OT pay, but here’s “company treats”
🎙 Bridge:
PowerPoints loaded, jargon on blast
Slingin’ synergy buzzwords from the past
If the numbers look good, nobody complains
Till your stock tanks — then they shift the blame
🎙 Final Hook:
🎶 Stakeholders in the boardroom don’t play fair
Watch your back, 'cause loyalty’s rare
It’s a rat race, masked in a Gucci tie
Climb the ladder — or kiss your seat goodbye 🎶
🎤 Outro:
Capital flows like a fine cabernet
We toast to the grind at the end of the day
In the boardroom jungle, only margins survive
Another day, another million, keep the hustle alive