moop on 5/10/2005 at 00:58
Earlier today, in a speech at the White House, President Bush spoke about the disaster relief, and the economics involved in tackling the problem of avian flu:
"My fellow Americans. The remarkable job done proudly by our Christian men and women in FEMA could not be done without sacrifice of brave Americans. However, we cannot have our tax dollars wasted to support Americans who decide to get sick, or homeless, every time we have a national disaster, which is why I have asked Congress to pass a bill banning the further use of tax money on Hurricane Katrina relief. Instead, as of 9:30 AM this morning, I have invested the entire National Treasury in stocks, and oil futures. The return on this investment is guaranteed to be high, since as of 9:35 AM today, I have declared war on the Alaskan National Wildlife Refuge, which will net us billions of dollars in potential oil from a land rich in unexplored and possibly nonexistant oil.
The tax dollars we rightfully return to every American will be used to pay birds to land in China instead of the United States. Birds landing in the United States will be attacked ON SIGHT as terrorists, by F-15s located at numerous military bases. Excuse me? Yes, that's right. The bases we haven't closed. Department Homeland Security agents have been given full authority to wiretap any homes suspected of housing birds. Congress has decided to grant me full authority on this matter after Karl Rove's "Get your picture taken with Fidel Castro and Saddam Hussein" Party for members of Congress last night. Yes, Jim. The Red Cross fundraiser was advertised to be in the same room. Coincidence, Karl tells me.
Senior citizens and others who need to pay for their bird flu shots using Medicare dollars will need to fill out lien papers with their Commercial Benefit Analysis office. Citizens not agreeing to forclose will be forcibly removed as the goddamned Jesus haters they are."
The president laughed and muttered something about "...who's going to stop me? I even named my personal attorney to the Supreme Court a week after Mike Brown was exposed for being a hack at FEMA, and nobody cares!" as he walked away from the podium.
White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan laughed and flipped reporters the bird.
Ultraviolet on 5/10/2005 at 03:06
Potential sequence of events:
- Military personell charged with taking care of law enforcement and health-related action.
- Military gets even higher share of tax revenues (already getting almost all of it as it is), and short-sighted taxpayers approve.
- All that funding that is already in control of the Department of Defense can be directed toward any purpose at will, with little oversight -- the DoD already has the funding and the public approval necessary.
Bluegrime on 5/10/2005 at 03:11
I'll start getting scared when the head of FEMA is a nano-auged tatoo faced weirdo.. Or when MIB's with those wierd voices start showing up.
tungsten on 5/10/2005 at 05:01
Quote Posted by Your CNN article
The Posse Comitatus Act of 1878 bans the military from participating in police-type activity on U.S. soil.
Bush began discussing the possibility of changing the law last month, in the aftermath of the government's sluggish response to civil unrest following Hurricane Katrina.
Oh yes, please change this. So you could finally keep your military in your own country and make the mess at home. - Or was it not about shooting up wedding-parties?
A good example of the shitty reporting of CNN. The article tries to flow continuously from what Bush said into what CNN says. Plus: it looks slightly different what the UN health official said, if you read (
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/4292426.stm) BBC. They're not lying, just reporting badly. :tsktsk:
toimi on 5/10/2005 at 12:37
Sorry to rain on your party, but:
U.S revenue(budjet): 1.862 trillion $
U.S military expenditures: 370 billion $(as of march 2003)
Even if you double it to account for "the war against terrorism", it's still not almost all of it.
Btw, I didn't know FEMA really existed before these hurricanes...
TheGreatGodPan on 5/10/2005 at 14:23
Yes FEMA existed, and Ion Storm only put it in Deus Ex cause it kept popping up in conspiracy theories.
I wish Bush would cancel all federal dollars going toward Katrina. No way that's going to happen, he hasn't seen a spending bill he didn't like since he became president.
Nocturne_98 on 5/10/2005 at 21:25
FEMA was created in 1979.
jstnomega on 8/10/2005 at 02:11
Quote Posted by Nocturne_98
FEMA was created in 1979.
ditto the Buggles
