Rug Burn Junky on 21/12/2008 at 01:22

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Yeah, I know, I'm in danger of becoming Aardvark around here, the old lurker guy who's never around and just pops in to post a link, but this was worth it.

Yesterday, one of my favorite baseball players of all time passed away, (http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=3782859) Dock Ellis. I only vaguely remember him for pitching with the Yankees when I was about 4 years old, but it was the outlandish stories I learned later that made him a favorite.

The one that gets all of the press is his no hitter.

On LSD.

As the legend goes, thinking he had the day off, he dropped acid at a girlfriend's apartment in LA. Soon thereafter she noticed in the paper that he was pitching that day, so he hightailed it to San Diego, and took the mound. He wasn't particularly impressive, walking 8 guys, and needing a lot of help defensively to get it done, and it wasn't until years later that he revealed that he was tripping at the time. Supposedly, during the game, he kept saying to guys in the dugout "I'm pitching a no-no." (totally ignoring the superstition of not mentioning a no hitter in progress).

But really, that's not why I love him. Though it helps.

No, why I love him is the OTHER famous story. His team, the Pittsburgh Pirates, had been long intimidated by the Cincinnati Reds, who kept beating them. In an effort to fire the team up, he took matters into his own hands, leading to the quote in the title.

First batter? Pete Rose. Hits him.

Second batter? Joe Morgan. Hits him, too.

Up Third? Dan Driessen. Yep, you guessed it. Hit batter.

Next up? Tony Perez, who managed to duck 4 pitches to draw the walk. Way to go Tony, guess he saw that coming.

Last? Johnny Bench. Two pitches to his head, which missed, before Dock was finally yanked.

Now, he had a long career after baseball, did tons of charity work, public speaking, etc. and by all accounts was a commendable human being, in spite of being an ill tempered, drug using player at the top of his game. So, I fucking love that guy on all accounts.

Do the do, Dock, do the do.

Tocky on 21/12/2008 at 04:54

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Hell, it was only acid. That's not a real drug. Real drugs mess you up so you can't read body language and see air currents. Particularly that little cleft in spacetime that gives you the perfect line to throw or shoot pool. Not that I know or anything. Say, acid doesn't cause liver damage does it? Not that it would matter to me of course. He must have done a lot of other stuff unless it really is cut with cyanide like that old urban legend they scared you with when you felt your joints tightening and that teeth clenching vibrating rush. I've heard. Ohgod surely not. Grace Slick is still around and she has done more than um most people. Probably. Yeah, nothing to worry about.

I didn't know this Dock guy. But there was this guy on our local team I used to play with that would strike out and miss popups until he excused himself and came back with red eyes and could "see" the ball. Best player on the team after. Tunnel vision I figure. Long ago of course.

Dock might have struck Bench out if he had begun mixing in some good pitches about then you know. But yeah, the style of it was awsome. Bye Dock, you crazy bastard, couldn't get away with any of that shit today.