catbarf on 21/3/2008 at 23:10
An epic new movie, a heroic tale of one man who would go to the ends of the Earth to save his love.
Kill me now.
This movie is utter shit, plain and simple. I wasted two hours of my life. If I had paid money for the tickets, I'd have gone ballistic. The story contains every fucking cliche in the book and can be entirely predicted from square 1. The movie is set in some strange wonderland where you can go from mountains to verdant jungle to desert (complete with pyramids) in the span of a few days of walking on foot. There's woolly mammoths being used to build pyramids- despite the facts that A. There weren't any pyramids until 7,500 years later (I can live with this, it's a movie), and B. If they're in the desert, WHY THE HELL ARE THEY WOOLLY?
The whole thing is just set up to show off the special effects. The sabre-tooth tiger (They call it a spear-tooth, HOW FUCKING ORIGINAL) appears twice and then is gone, there's a brief scene with bird-things, and then we get copious aerial shots of the city with the pyramids. The acting is simply moronic. We have the typical merry band of the reluctant hero child whose father left from an early age, the doom-and-gloom older man who knew the father, some wannabe child desperate to impress his elders, and a random Redshirt who will die gruesomely. Funny how they get all sad and depressed when someone dies, considering this is a time when medicine is more commonly known as witchcraft, and the people are trying to fight big, savage beasties with only spears and rocks (Also note how the savage cave-people have pearly white teeth). It started slow, continued slow, and in spite of having short action scenes scattered throughout the whole thing it still remains dull beyond belief.
If you've got half a brain, go see something else. There's little more to 10,000 BC than pretty pictures and dreadful accents.
Trance on 22/3/2008 at 00:37
Quote Posted by catbarf
[[ Spiel detailing how 10,000 BC sucks ]]
Well fucking duh. You didn't learn your lesson with 300?
catbarf on 22/3/2008 at 00:48
Meh. I didn't choose the movie, a friend was able to get us tickets because he knows the manager. And considering the fact that people paid money to go see it, I'd say there's a bunch of people who haven't learned their lesson.
Spaztick on 22/3/2008 at 01:14
This is the first I've heard of this movie. Catbarf seems to be in a good mood though, so it can't be all that bad.
Eshaktaar on 22/3/2008 at 01:24
It was made by Roland Emmerich. You know, the guy who gave us aliens with Mac-compatible technology.
Vivian on 22/3/2008 at 01:34
So it sucks? My supervisor and one of my colleagues were advisors on this film. They told them how to get the mammoths moving at least semi-right.
catbarf on 22/3/2008 at 02:27
Quote Posted by Spaztick
so it can't be all that bad.
It was free. That's about it.
jtr7 on 22/3/2008 at 02:30
Did your legs fall asleep? Did you get free snacks, too?
Did the movie really have cavemen building pyramids for a non-quite-human, space-alien-like, Atlantean type?
Angel Dust on 22/3/2008 at 03:17
Quote Posted by catbarf
Meh. I didn't choose the movie, a friend was able to get us tickets because he knows the manager. And considering the fact that people paid money to go see it, I'd say there's a bunch of people who
haven't learned their lesson.
Man I wouldn't even go for free since it's directed by Roland Emmerich who couldn't make a good scene, let alone a whole film, if his life depended on it. Also it had a pretty meh opening weekend and a 50% drop the next week so I think people are learning their lesson as far as Emmerich goes.
catbarf on 22/3/2008 at 03:23
Quote Posted by jtr7
Did your legs fall asleep?
No. I nearly fell asleep, but the damn thing wouldn't be kind enough to go quiet-like and give me some peace.
Quote Posted by jtr7
Did you get free snacks, too?
No. Food accounts for most (95%, IIRC) of the profit of movie theaters, so they can't give me that for free as well.
Quote Posted by jtr7
Did the movie really have
cavemen building pyramids for a non-quite-human, space-alien-like, Atlantean type?Sort of.
The cavemen are slaves and are building pyramids, but the ruler guy is human.The worst part of the movie is how it didn't use the prehistoric theme at all, rather it was just a plot device to explain the slavers and allow beasties. They could have shown the first interactions between different groups, and the barrier of language- but no, they have a translator. They could have demonstrated the harshness of ancient life- but no, every time someone dies there's slow-motion, opera singing, and copious shedding of tears.
