1000 clues that you have been playing thief way to much ... - by Mr Croft
Mr Croft on 4/11/1999 at 19:15
Keeper Mallinson:
#1002 You formulate 40 proceeding posts to # 1000 and stay up half the night waiting for someone to open a window for you.
#1003 You rip your hair out and scream "NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" on realizing you were beaten to # 1000 while you dozed off in your chair.
#1004 You suggest that we aim for 2000 and see if we can do it for the millenium, or even 5000 for 2001!!! (and I don't wanna hear "But Keeper, 2001 is in actuality the start of the new millenium" for anyone.)
Keeper Mallinson:
#1005 You make plans to assassinate good ol' Freddie and take his place as new High King of the Forum. You even consider formulating a fanmission out of this, breaking into his mansion, killing every guard on the way, smashing into his thrown room, catching him in a drunken stupor on his thrown with a pile of chicken bones all around it, and slaughtering him just as he realizes who you are and what's going on. But until then, good show ol' chum. :/
Singing Dancing Moose:
#1006 You realize the desperate sqaublling to rule this forum by way of 1000th post is of little matter, and in the end, you shall triumph over the fools, once you have summoned forth the hoards of hell to do your bidding! MWAHAHAHA- er, nevermind...
HammerTime:
#1007 When members of your own family starting reminding you Zombies.....walking around aimlessly and making loud noises out of every orifice!! LOL!!!!
****Zombies, Haunts arise to show the Builder the true meaning of power!****
Thumper:
#1008 You have completed the entire game lytha-style (on expert, all the loot, 0 damages dealt, 0 knockouts, no suicides).
#1009 You have had a sword fight with a fire elemental and won.
#1010 You realize that, with all the numbering mistakes (not to mention duplicates), the 1000th sign probably isn't.
#1011 You wonder if, by some whim of fate, you have the real 1000th post. Not that it matters.
Risquit:
#1012 You go through a whole day at work refusing to help a single customer; when asked why, you reply "I'm working Lytha-style today!"
Arius:
#1013 Your boyfriend calls you from a plane while flying over Japan to ask you what level you're on in expert mode and how much loot you found. (true story!)
#1014 You have dreams of fire elementals slamming into your roommates bedroom (while she's in there) and you jump up, arms in the air, screaming "YEAH!"
#1015 You see a little iddy bitty spider across the room, and your heart starts beating wildly as you desparately search for your broadheads.
#1016 You blow off studying for a graduate midterm to post to this thread.
jkling17:
#1017 your wife no longer complains about the time you spend on the PC, which is most likely related to all those "clandestine ambushes" she is the "victim" of lately.
#1018 You rattle the doorknob to the data center at work while nervously looking over your shoulder for guards before finally using your electronic keyless entry tag ... "CLICK!"
#1019 You habitually avoid the walk up to your front door, traverse your lawn instead.
#1020 When you finally do get to the front door, you mumble, "hmmm... better look for another way in".
#1021 You open your fridge, and leap for the nearest shadow when the light comes on.
#1022 The fridge is still open. You wait until you're sure that no one has seen or heard you. You approach the fridge more closely and after some examination comment, "creepy".
#1023 You are out of deer leg.
Keeper:
#1024 you get your boss drunk, dress him up in armour and pretend he's the drunken guard infront of the well in baffords so you can blackjack him and steal the keys to his house and or car.
jkling17:
#1025 You secretly hope that someone will compute it out so that Fred does NOT take credit for the 1000th reason as you think the resulting "postal" activity would be even more amusing than watching zombies beating up hammers in Cragscleft while playing Lytha-style.
#1026 You secretly hope that in the final computations, where all duplicates are weeded out, that one of your "> 1000" entries actually IS the 1000 post.
#1027 You realize that you actually listed the above reasons on the forum, and that these are not very secret anymore.
#1028 You just don't care - you WANT the 1000th reason to be YOURS at any cost!
#1029 You realize you are not truly concerned with getting credit for the 1000th post as with Fred NOT getting credit for it.
Paz:
#1030: You realise what a poisoned chalice the damned 1000th post has become, and quite frankly, you can do without it.
Shizknit:
#1031 - You realize that if SloulStripper goes ALLL the way back to page 1 and deletes this topic, then Fred Chook will have absolutely nothing to do for months.
redEye:
by the builder's hammer! this thing yet lives!
#1032 - You have, at one point, considered compiling this list and making it all pretty.
1033 - You've saved at least one version of this list to your hard drive, "just in case."
1034 - You use this list to put off work even longer.
1035 - You use this list as a checklist of things to do.
1036 - You actually recognize repeats here (i think my last one might've been...)
1037 - You realize how funny it would be if SoulStripper had checked the "email notification" box .
The_Jaguar:
1038- You already have Thief Gold...and you got it 'Lytha' style...
Fred Chook:
1039: (No sense not posting, even after doing the 1000th. Who'd have thought that I'd do it when I came here. My very first post was was complaining about newbies. It was! Anyway...) You convince four friends to join the forum and buy Thief Gold, then realise all of them will have it, and you won't, so you waste another $40 in a panic attack.
Keeper Mallinson:
Ohhh, no you don't.
#1040 No matter how many times this post goes down the "Show topics from past 10 days" line, you know you must bring it back up to post more. Come on, guys!
Mr Croft on 4/11/1999 at 19:24
Well... all done people, start your postings.
1043) You actually count how many clues are listed on this thread
1044) You take the time to edit & repost this thread
1045) You tell poeple that it didn't take to long to cut-&-paste it.
1046) You repost this thread a second time.
1047) When you start to relize that this thread has a pulse, it lives, & it cannot die.
1048) When this thread is the reason you keep coming back to the TTLG Thief forums.
1049) You try to tell people that you couldn't remember the other clues that were listed in the other forum repost
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(http://www.tombraider.com/) Mr Croft ~ Have you signed the
(
http://130.233.233.5/uuw3/) Ultima Underworld 3 Petition yet?!
Oh ya & by the way, "
Go Raid Something."
[This message has been edited by Mr Croft (edited November 04, 1999).]
Fred Chook on 8/11/1999 at 08:49
1051: You wonder how, if the original 'Clues' was 15 pages, this one can be 2 pages.
Fred Chook on 8/11/1999 at 09:06
What, we had 12 pages wasted space?
Keeper Mallinson on 9/11/1999 at 06:10
Why is the first page is that wierd format? It's annoying to have to scroll left to right, left to right...
Fred Chook on 9/11/1999 at 07:42
1052: You plan a Thief mission about the crusades, then put Farkus in.
1053: You paint Hammerite murals in your living room, Woodsie cave-paintings in your bedroom and Keeper insignias in the bathroom.
Keeper Mallinson on 11/11/1999 at 07:12
Come on, people, we've come so damned far! Don't let it die! Ever!
1054: You construct weapons out of tinfoil and cardboard as prototypes for proposed new weapons in Thief 2, and FedEx them to TTLG Studios with a few blueprints of the weapons' function and a letter saying "Just send out a check to..."
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By the time you find a lightswitch, I'll already be gone...
SecondSkin on 11/11/1999 at 11:53
#1055 You remember how much you loved archery and go spend a wad on a new recurve, arrows, and 2 arm braces even though you only need one. Now, where's a hay bale when you need one?