1000 clues that you have been playing thief way to much ... - by Mr Croft
Mr Croft on 4/11/1999 at 18:39
Thumper:
301) In a fit of redecorating, you go out and buy lots of crates and barrels. But, not the large barrels because you can't find anything sufficiently indestructable.
302) You nail all your furniture to the floor because you're disturbed by how easily it moves.
303) You nail some chairs to the ceiling.
304) You insist on putting out the dinner candles with a squirt gun. From the doorway, on the other side of the room.
305) You feel compelled to reach the end of this thread without having to kill it.
CardinalFang:
Heh heh.. this thread is cool! Did you know that if you keep adding to a thread it will eventually explode?
306) While talking with co-workers, you realize that you are referring to your boss as "the Sir".
307) You sit down in front of your computer at work, and, without thinking, start searching for your Thief CD to pop in the drive. Then you remember that 1) you have work to do, and 2) your work computer is a Mac
308) You ditch work to go home and play Thief.
309) Angry that "the Sir" terminated your employment for walking out, you sneak into his house in the middle of the night and club him on the back of the head while he's counting his money in the basement.
Fenn:
310) You edit the startup and shutdown graphics on your computer so that they are cutscenes from Thief.
P.S. If you want to do this, the files you need to edit are logo.sys, logow.sys, and logos.sys. They are hidden, system, read-only files but that's easy to change with Windows Explorer.
P.P.s. I have really done this. It looks so cool.
311) When you boot up your computer it automatically loads Thief.
Lytha:
Good idea. Lets continue this thread, until the red spiders invade again.
310) You have in this moment 6 non-finished runthroughs of Thief where you play the extreme sub-types of Thieves. You know that you will probably never find an end, because the "Assassin"-typus (kill ony one target, carry the victim to weird places; sneak around the others in the "Lytha-way") proves to be great fun, and you can't stop imaging trickier targets and locations (Ramirez into the Home turf?)
Ishy:
Do you realise that this thread has more posts than any of the non-LGS forums on this domain? This is insane!! It suits us perfectly!
311) You lend someone Thief, then get so frustrated with not being able to play it that you download BOTH demos. At 1.6 kbps.
Rolander:
Hi! This is my first post here. I have not bought Thief but...
312) You had a dream of a glorious blackjacking party...
313) You dreamt of playing thief, and dreamt of fumbling to reload when you were discovered by a guard during your dream-game of thief! And you dreamt of heaving a sight of relief when you successfully reloaded your dream-game before the guard cuts you down...
P.S. I only played the demos, but I had both dreams not 6 hours ago q8-7
P.S.S. I wonder what would have happened if I was actually killed by the guard in my dream-game... Maybe I would have woken up screaming...
redEye:
LOL... rock-crawler, i'm about to do #293 (new video card) - maybe i'll actually be able to play Thief on my machine now. my roommate should be really happy about that...
314) You return to the board and are ... speechless to find this thread still alive and kicking. It's worse than a zombie!
Ninja:
315) You add something to the list just for the sheer hell of it, hoping to keep the thread active because you want some new ideas for things to do in RL!
Lytha:
316) You spend ages with the approach to do funny patterns with unconcious bodies.
317) You spend ages on Baffords with carrying the assassinated corpse of your target over the roof, just to drop it in the entrance-area of the mansion. (Only because you want to test your newest playing style, the "Assassin.")
Flincher:
318) Chore list consits of: I have planned a simple job for this evening. Break into a guarded mansion steal anouther.....
319) You free a convicted fellon from jail just for the sheer hell of it. Then when hes free u club him and put him back where u found him.. all without alerting anybody!!!!
rock-crawler:
320) Everytime you come into this particular forum, you hear an unearthly moan from somewhere near your feet, and the smell of rotting flesh invades your nostrils, there is a sudden shuffling from somewhere REALLY CLOSE behind you, and you wish you hadn't wasted all your holy water trying to kill the "how are you supposed to become a member?" thread. Yes folks, this is truly the forum from hell. Very undead, and bound to make to make you wake, screaming, in the dark of night as you realize that, yes you too have one more contribution to make........
Thumper:
321) You've memorized all of the guards sayings. You even have the motions down. Now you're working on making your voice sound like several different people for that extra bit of realism.
322) You contemplate digging a tunnel from the bottom of your swimming pool to your neighbors...
Fingers Ferkin:
323) You join a forum where everyone is much more experienced at THIEF than you are and you think you know what they're on about...
Knife:
324) You constantly shush your friend who's sitting beside you making comments on the game while you're playing Thief, and you keep saying "Shhh! They'll hear you talking! Shut up!" over and over again to your friend.
Creslin:
325) You help found a guild in EverQuest called the Keepers and actually continue and spend time doing it.
Ninja:
Creslin: Hey, that was my line! And already used!
326) You awaken in the morning with a keyboard imprint on your face and a zombie approaching you. And your reflexes are still good enough to vanish before he notices you!
Lightfoot:
Okay, I found these at the bottom of the barrel...
327) You Find yourself getting nervous whenever you're carrying anything shiny in your hands.
328) You start breaking into the local church dressed up as an altar boy.
329) You find yourself wishing your friends would stand closer together so you wouldn't have to waste gas arrows.
330) Whenever you finish a difficult task at work, you find yourself hitting "F11."
331) Whenever you get near a graveyard, you keep wishing for a mission with more live humans.
332) You go into funhouses looking for magic swords.
333) You keep sneaking into the local power grid center to shut the streetlights off.
334) At your doctor's appointment, you look for the display with the line of little shields to see how healthy you are.
335) A close friend dies and you find yourself fretting about what new objectives you have.
336) You find yourself looking for hidden levers while in church.
337) When you get your paycheck, you start speculating about how many water arrows you can buy with it.
338) One confused night at a casino leaves you with a pile of unconscious card dealers.
339) One word: kleptomania.
Secret thief weapon: poprocks and a can of pepsi,
Gordon Lightfoot
Registered Member, Guild of Thieves,
Burglars, Housebreakers and Allied Trades
113 Treacle Street, Ankh-Morpork
Taxa:
340) You spent an absolute fortune on converting expensive oak arrows to hold small capsules of water on the end and when asked "What are we going to do with these?" you reply "I dunno, toss em into a well or somthing"
Mr Croft on 4/11/1999 at 18:40
STRUMA:
341) You find yourself trying to fill one of these lists.
Ninja:
342) You finally succeed in killing the list, only to realise that you've failed the
Bed:
343) You've just read through 342 entries in one go and you want more!
344) You havn't even finished the game yet (Up to THC) and you want the Level Editor to come out
345) Thief is the first fullprice game you've ever bought because you were so impressed and hooked on the demo (true!)
CardinalFang:
346) While visiting someone's home, you spy a pair of golden candlesticks and your immediate reflex is to "right-click" on them. (actually happened to me yesterday!)
Tommyboy:
You make post #347.
Khalid:
(Sorry if these have been done already but I don't have time to read all of these entries)
348) You have no dishes left in the house because you can't pick one up without throwing it against the wall.
348) You are the only person in your neighborhood with an electric bill of $0.
349) You find yourself stealing things from your own house.
350) You carry a compass around with you all the time.
351) You can eat an apple, bread, cheese, whatever in less than a second.
352) You don't really read this board...it's just for show.
That's all for now.....................
Mr Croft on 4/11/1999 at 18:41
GhostSoldier:
Yeesh, those really sucked. Let's see if I can do worse...
353) You think this board is just a really complicated walkthrough.
354) You are playing right now.
GreyMouser:
That was a classic, Tommyboy. Congrats.
355) You find yourself referring to T:TDP in cultural and philosophical conversations.
GreyMouser:
356) You lurk for hours in the shadows of the forum, waiting to hit the 10,000th post. There, I hear it coming... wait... wait... raise...
GreyMouser:
357) having done that, you decide to pour yourself a tea. You notice your hands are slightly shaking from the adrenaline, just as if you were playing a difficult Thief mission.
Lytha:
358) At 3:00 a.m. you realize that you have spent another 3 hours with the snd.crf. You prefer now additional to the classic "bkrun_1.wav" the sound files "vikgig4.wav" and "m13str.wav." And of course the classic "fb1att_1.wav."
359) And you learned in those last three hours how to giggle like "vikgig3.wav" and to laugh like "hh1a3_6.wav". Now you are looking forward to test it Tuesday, at work.
MasterP22:
360) You find yourself singing the Lion King sound track because you're afraid of all the noises in RTC. (There's a lovely bunch of coconuts diddlidy.... here they come a'dancing in the rain
361 You're experiencing severe withdrawal and are becoming more and more manic-depressive because you made the mistake of lending Thief to someone 7 days, 2 hours and 38 minutes ago... and now they won't give it back
Sudian_The_Assasin:
362) You go around in a very big cloak that you made out of navy blue bedsheets and make arrows with wooden heads out of twigs that you chase your pets around the house with pelting yelling "Who's the taffer now, bitch?"
364) You back into a defensive crouch when you see a lizard because you are afraid it will breathe toxic gas on you and everyone laughs at you...What? This didn't happen to everyone else?
365) You walk into a jewelry store and manage to steal a gold chain only to get busted trying to sell it to an undercover cop who you thought was a "fence" then you get thrown in solitary for trying to pick the lock to your cell.
rock-crawler:
366) You realise this thread will never truly die as long as there are newbies to keep it alive, like the 4 above. It does my thieving heart good to see the old traditions handed down from "The Elders" to "The Novices".
Autolycus:
367) You win one of those small souvenir baseball bats at the end of the year dorm party. The next morning you hear screams coming from your roommate's closet where a pile of unconscious bodies have been stashed. You raise your new blackjack...
techleash:
368) You start waiting for the next clue while still connected to the internet.
369) You look for you'r health bar
370) You buy a gem that works like the one in thief. You then find out that the gem didn't work and break into the store at night to get more gem's just to see if they work too.
Well.. I hope these haven't been brought up before
Flamineo:
371) Horrified, you realise you've thought of a spin on this thread that you don't think's been posted yet, so are compelled to gird yourself with the shovel of Search and exhume its decaying, flyblown carcass yet one more time.
372) After many failed attempts you would finally have mastered sneaking into work/school/the exercise yard late, if it weren't for the fact you've been too preoccupied with Thief to bathe for a month so colleagues/classmates/fellow inmates can smell you at 20 yards.
Jennie:
373) You consider reinstalling Thief just so you can find the zombie head everyone talks about.
The Thiefster:
374) you throw a vase and shocked that it shatters when it hits the floor.
375) you jump in your pool and no air bubbles are seen to show how much air you have left.
376) you jump off a two story house and die when landing instead of losing shields and do not make a grunt sound and get back up.
377) you try to make a fire arrow but your bow turns into ashes and you get 2nd and 3rd degree burns.
378) you shoot a dead corspe with holy water but surprised that the body does not explode.
The Thiefster:
379) you read all of the replyes so you wont say somthing someone else has already said.
380) you try to grab a key from someones belt from ten feet away and is suprised that the key does not glow so you give up and play thief to make yourself feel better.
381) you here a alarm as you pass through a metal detecter and run to a dark area only to be arestted for possion of deadly weapons.
THE BLACK KNIGHT:
382) You have a bad dream at night and you fell for your left eye and say "its gone itsgone."
383) When you see a person carrying a hammer on the rofing poject you run and jumpof the roof saying"you'll never take me alive".
384) You steal your wifes weeding ring. and trade it in on a pair of lockpicks.
Paz:
385) When startled in public, you begin to whine like the (extreamly camp) servants.
386) You begin planning darker and darker deaths for your friend, who has borrowed your copy of thief and STILL hasn't returned it.
Master Assassin:
387) you go out and buy a brand new sound card just to play Thief in all its glory (I got a Creative Labs AWE64 Value! its sic)
388) u finally reply to this topic after spending 2 hours reading all the past ones - and then u plan on blackjacking the postman and stealing all his mail just so that you never recieve that humongous phone-bill :-)
389) you design a Thief fan site and put loads of shameless plugs for it ABSOLUTELY EVERYWHERE: (
http://members.tripod.co.uk/tazworld66/index.html) http://members.tripod.co.uk/tazworld66/index.html
Junkie Doodle:
390) Daylight gives you a splitting headache.
391) You spend hours in the bathtub experimenting with different underwater potions.
392) You begin to look down upon people who make unnecessary sounds (and study your cat with great admiration).
393) You catch yourself saying: "...and the Builder said" way too much.
394) You're secretly in love with Victoria, but you don't know how to tell her.
Risquit:
395) Your baby brother struggles mightily to reach the water fountain and you tell him, "Just MANTLE it!"
396) Everytime you play basketball, you leave behind a scroll of personal quotes.
397) You can't go swimming without diving down to find a tunnel.
398) Your girlfriend sends you to 7-11 and you come back proudly displaying your "Big Gulp of Quintis".
399) While at 7-11, you notice a rather large spill of cherry slurpee and quietly wish you had brought your water arrows.
400) Still at 7-11..."those Slim Jims would make nice shafts for broadhead arrows"
Mr Croft on 4/11/1999 at 18:42
Karoshi:
401) You feel an uncontrollable urge to post in this thread so it doesn´t disappear.
I don´t know if this has been posted before, and frankly - I don´t care. The slider on the right side of my browser have never looked so intimidating...
DarKnight:
402) You don't freak out when you see giant spiders, zombies, and the such irl.
Goose:
403) You create a checklist of upgrades you want for your computer, just so you can enjoy thief moore
404) You realize that you have bought almost all items on the checklist
This might be a variation of earlier posts, but it's true for me. I have checked of new videocard, more memory, new speakers, new mousemat with wristrest and wristrest for the keyboard.
Ymochel:
Okay all of the following are the absolute truth, too ... :P
405) Whenever you meet a friend you don't greet him with "Hi" or "Hello" but with "I can see you now, sneaksie!" or "Something moves!" (or any other Thief exclamation).
406) You keep telling all your friends that they should beware the dawn of the metal age.
407) After blackjacking all the local policeofficers and carrying them to a nearby dark spot you find yourself shocked at them actually waking up again! (okay I lied about this one. I didn't do this ... yet )
Azal:
408) When your flatmate startles you while playing Return to the Cathedral, you try to blackjack her with your mouse
Risquit:
409) OK...you are sure, I mean 100% positive that you are the only one home, yet you still turn your head away from the monitor to see if there is anyone behind you!
Mr Croft on 4/11/1999 at 18:43
ades:
410) You start to think that a backlit keyboard would be the best peripheral ever.
Jades:
411) You wonder where you can get one of those glowing mushrooms (sorry if this has been done already).
bigfoot1000:
412) You decide to study both landscaping and architecture so that you can build yourself an exact replica of Constantine's mansion, all the while thinking to yourself, "I'll teach that Tricksie freak to mess with me! I'll show him that messing with me means losing everything. I'LL MAKE HIM PAY FOR MY EYE!"
413) When your friends get lost in the house, you take great pleasure in quietly following them, robbing them blind, and once you take everything that they're carrying you knock them out.
414) When making a new post to this particular thread, you have to spend 10 minutes waiting for the page to reload just to make sure you have the right numbers (what I'm doing now =)...
415: Only to find out that nobody posted in the hour you spent reading the last 200 things that indicate you play way too much Thief (DOH!).
Junkie Doodle:
416) You're so addicted you start wondering about taking Thief intravenously. (I know, not funny)
417) "Gimme FEAR, or gimme death!" You have mutated into one of the first fearaholics in human history.
418) as a result of all this you are aging faster than the president of the United States.
Top Taffer:
419) Your leg muscles have swollen to twice there normal size due to prolonged periods of shuffling around your house in the "crouched" position.
420) People comment on your permanent "narrowing of the eyes" caused by too much squinting into the darkness of your monitor.
421) Your on your 3rd monitor screen. The last 2 burnt out by excess use of the brightness dial. (Come on now..... don't pretend you don't do it too. "Suddenly I have night vision!")
Goose:
422) You are at work. You should really be doing something useful but instead you spend a lot of time reading "The guide to the strage and unusual thief" by Thumper. And after you're done reading you return to the list to add something to this thread.
423) You wish you could get a job as playtester of thief gold and thief 2.
424) You cannot get a job as playtester of thief so you consider getting into burglary instead.
Wyclef:
425) You find yourself making the "Sign of the Hammer" (left shoulder, right shoulder, stomach) rather than the "Sign of the Cross".
Kato:
426) Thou start to speak like the Hammers.
Uncia:
427) You suddenlt become very interested in mushrooms and their usage at home
428) Even your friends know what you're talking about when quoting Thief passages
Risquit:
429) You actually have to use Ctrl-End to get to the bottom of a Thief thread. (An ominous sign for us all...)
430) You try to look at the SIDE of the monitor to see where that flippin' guard is.
431) Those Starcraft users just don't get it do they?
432) You give up on trying to get the flippin' 1.33 patch to work and in so doing,convince yourself that you like playing 1.14 because its "old school".
433) Your evil brain tells you that you are the last remaining Thief player on earth who hasn't succeeded in patching to 1.33.
MetalBoy:
434) You decide to take a little break from Thief and you end up reading all 433 reasons why you are where you are, doing what you do.
Jades:
435) You create a set of Thief Monster Top Trumps cards.
436) You write a text adventure version of Thief.
KGoodsell:
437) You begin cultivating mushrooms at home expecting to save a fortune on electric bills, and are puzzled by their lack of illumination.
KGoodsell:
438) Everytime there is a conflict in a movie you are watching, you think "why doesn't he just blackjack that guys ass?"
mokkis:
439) You do your own house at DromED and you don't dare go to the bathroom, because there is big spider patrolling there
KGoodsell:
440) After getting bored building easy stuff (like your house), you decide to build the entire campus of the University you attend.
441) When your University level causes your framerate to drop through the floor, you think to yourself, "Maybe Thief needs a new engine..." A week later you've rewritten the entire Thief engine. From scratch. And it handles your University level easily.
442) You've developed an irrational fear of frogs and mosquitoes. "Those bastards hurt!"
443) You no longer have any interest in saving the trees.
MetalBoy:
444) You keep a note pad beside your keyboard 'just in case' you think of # 445 while you are immersed in a good game of Thief.
445) You've brought along a laptop with a copy of Thief to your favorite software outlet while camping outside waiting in line to buy Thief Gold.
Dr Octogon:
446) You curse the fool who invented summer, dammnable glare!
Risquit:
447) You have been thrown out of every restaurant in town for whining, "When are they bringin' me my dinner?"
448) You write a song called the "Cragscleft Prison Blues".
449) You contemplate e-mailing LGS to have them include an edited hard copy of this thread in the Thief 2 (or Gold) box.
MetalBoy:
450) In regards to # 449: Now that you mention it...
Mr Croft on 4/11/1999 at 18:44
Ergates:
451) You find a spider in the house and try to kill it from the other side of the room *(hiding in a shadow with a bow and arrow.
aviz8:
452) your boss tell you to go home and rest (you were using the pc to play thief and he didnt know) and you ask him for a map
MaximumSwing:
453) You start to talk in a strange way: "Bringsie me the manfool! I shall takesie him to the Woodsie lord!"
Keeper:
454) You sneak into a room with dark clothing on, stand right behind a person and then leave unnoticed, just to gloat about it to them later. I did this once, I waited under the stairs for about an hour waiting for the right moment. I got to see part of a really crappy movie like that.
Greyhound:
455) You look in the phone book for anyone's name that sounds anything like bafford or ramirez, and then rob them clean.
Sharga:
456) You hear you brother snoring in the middle of the night and mistake it for a zombie groan(ooooooooh, wheaz, mooooan) The next minute he wakes up with WATER IN HIS FACE, holy water that is!
457) You pause each time a major character shows up and you print the picture on your printer. Then you take it to an office supply store and have them blow the picture up very large. Then you make a cardboard standup of the picture, you do this until you have a cardboard standup for every character and monster in the game!
458) You have been repeditly caught sneaking around the town allies at midnight and knocking out poor helpless and homeless people with your homemade blackjack.
459) You ask people you know if you talk in your sleep. They say that you have said strange things like: Good thing I'm not afraid of hights and I'm willing to take some serious risks
35086) You write in this thread so much that you forget what number you are on.
461) You start sneaking around everyone without being seen like #454, first the easy people: your little siblings, then the neighbors dogs, then you sneak around your parents in your own house, then your household pets, then you make a sticker to put on everyone's back that you have snucked by. It says: You have been taken advantage of by a thief named____ (You fill in the blank)
462) You have beaten Thief in expert as many times as there are replies in this thread.
463) You forget that you didn't actuall go on a date with Victoria.
Para?noid:
464) You only date women called Victoria
465) You get into your house via the sewers
466) You develop a very broad head. And everyone laughs at you.
Mr Croft on 4/11/1999 at 18:46
Ludicrous:
468) You're cutting the grass and you happen to run over a frog with the lawn mower. As the pitiful creature kicks it's last breath you scream "TAKE COVER" and dive away to safety before it explodes!
469) You notice that the way your boss walks, suspiciously resembles that of a ratman's!
Garrett88:
470) Playing the game so many times you have a dream that you and Jennifer Love-Hewitt are starring in a Thief based movie. ( true story )
471) Thief has caused you to write many different stories and never finish them.
Greyhound:
472) You wake up with the thief instruction booklet in your underwear.
473) You wake up with the thief box in your underwear.
474) You buy frogs instead of fireworks on July 4th.
475) You legally change your name to garrett.
476) You make every Quest Item from the game out of cardboard & duct tape.
Garrett88:
476) You wish that when you become a WWF wrestler you can dress in all black and beat the crap out of the Undertaker and Kane. ( that's for you, Greyhound. )
computerwhiz:
477) When you open up a book to the first page you think it's the end because there are no bent corners
488) You start hallousinating there are guards and you grab a roll of toilet paper pretending it's a flash bomb... and you through it in front of them
(I don't know how to spell it so perfectly like millions of other people)
Para?noid:
489) You spend ages getting the title 'computerwhiz' but never make it in life cause you cant spell.
490) Your maw starts to be very chaotic (?)
Ludicrous:
491) You've played SO much that your 'clicking' finger has developed an uncontrollable 'twitch' and you inadvertently make a double post on this thread! like Para?noid hehe, just goofing with ya dude
492) You find that it's cheaper to buy your Keyboards and Mice in bulk to replace all the ones you wear out!
Sharga:
493) You experience Thief related dejavoo (I know it's spelled wrong but oh well).
494) You actually have a rope arrow of your own.
495) You experience Thief related dejavoo.
496) You have a strange interest in Arm & Hammer products.
497) You experience Thief related dejavoo.
498) You, your friends, your friend's friends, your friend's friend's friends, and your friend's friend's friend's friends know all of the Thief sayings and can speak them fluently.
499) You experience Thief related dejavoo.
Garrett88:
Omigod it's #
500) You steal your little brother's cape and walk around trying to be quiet but of course you aren't Garrett.
Mr Croft on 4/11/1999 at 18:47
Rolander:
501) When your sisters are using the PC when you return, you keep beating them on their heads with your blackjack... uh actually, a miniture police baton on your keychain to irritate them enough so they'll leave and allow you to play Thief(Demos) and check this forum...
(I hope I won't get flamed by all those taffers who are ladies or have GFs...)
Sharga:
502) You have the Thief menu burnt into your screen. (which can actually happen, thats what screen savers are for)!
503) You have a liscence plate that has something to do with thief.
504) You play Thief so much that you notice your CD ROM heating up. Soon smoke is pouring out of it. You grab the mouse pad to cool the arising flames but they burst into giant towering infernos. You manage to save one thing from your house (besides yourself) and it's the Thief CD!
505) You have been watching someone so close that you forget you haven't actually met them yet.
506) You know the name of every member of this discussion forum.
507) You have two children and you actually have time for 3261 posts!!!!!!!!(Your name must be Lytha then)Just a little joke, Bwaa Ha Ha!
508) You have discovered every nook and crannie of the Thief world.
509) You aren't afraid of the dark any more and you don't need a nightlight.
510) You sleep UNDER your bed (with the monsters) so that assasins won't find you when they look in your room!
511) You have never lost a hide and seek game yet! And you insist on throwing rocks at the person who is "it" while you are hiding in the shadows.
512 You actualy own the discussion forum. Mr. Nightfall take it away........
513) You dedicate a thread to Victoria.
514) You start stupid surveys that no one wants to answere but they do anyway. Hey! Why the #%&^%*&@! is everyone looking at me?
515) You have 7 uninterrupted replies!
516) You read this whole thread three times and realise that there are some times when someone coppied someone else.
517) You write an extremely long reply and then find out that you wrote the wrong password in and have to write the whole thing again!
Greyhound:
518) You post the 300th reply
Abysmal:
Wow! This thread is up to 300 replies!
519) You realize this thread is growing old.
Ludicrous:
520) You've changed your diet and now only eat those things available in the game! i.e. Deer legs, cheese, apples, carrots, bread, cucumbers, and that strange fruit which restores your health...Oh and of course MUSHROOM TEA!
Sharga:
521) You spend hours thinking of a signature that rhymes.
522) You can read this whole thread without laughing once(you stick in the mud!)
523) You play Thief for a while and get adjusted to the darkness then you come to this bright white discussion forum and you are blinded. You get yourself a pair of VERY dark glasses.
524) You talk like the ghosts in front of the cathedral and no one can understand you.
525) You have thought of and designed so many new monsters, levels, characters, weapons etc. that you could practically make Thief2 yourself.
526) You've made an acurate map of each level.
527) You never had a fear of bees before playing Thief (especially ones hovering over corpses).
528) You have searched every pet store possible for a burrock and have had no results, but you are still convinced that they exist.
529) You were thinking about Victoria when you locked you keys in your car.
530) Manteling has become part of your daily workout.
531) When you die you want to be buried in a huge octagonal tomb with a piped in organ system.
532) You never go hiking for fear that you will find an explorer's corps with a journal by it. The last entry will read, "I think I am safe here."
533) You start thieving from a local fast food restaurant. You start by stuffing the catsup and mustard packets into your pockets, then you move on to straws and napkins, you graduate to taking toilet paper, then you ask for a cup to fill with water but you secretely fill it with soda instead, you take your kids to the play equipment without purchasing something first, and the final test: you steal all of the food trays one by one untill the restaurant has been robbed blind! Then you move on to the next closest restaurant. Man are you cruel!
WARNING: this is only a joke, din't take it seriously and if you are stupid, and unskilled, enough to get caught don't blame me.
534) You build your house upside-down to mock Constantine.
535 You pick up what seems to be an expensive piece of pottery only to find that it is junk. You don't know how to get rid of it without making a clamor. Five years later when you've come back to the "real world" you wander how your mother-in-law's vase got in the attic.
536) You climb up a ladder to paint your house then you realise that you can't use things while on ladders or ropes so you have to hire someone to paint the house for you.
537) You won't enter an old Cathedral unless accompanied by the ghost busters.
538) When you see a well you dive to the bottom of it and take all the money that people have thrown in.
539) Waterslide Parks are booring now.
540) To keep your house safe during haloween (people get crazy around that time of year) you put arrow traps all around your house.
541) Someone toilet papers your house that Haloween. Then you find out that you accidentally put fire arrow traps in. the toilet paper catches on fire and burns down the house!
542) You get out all of those Legos that you played with as a kid, then you reconstruct Constantine's mansion, Then you get out your mideval knights and you put them in the location of each guard. After a days work you go to sleep. When you wake up you find that your son has destroyed it. =(
Garrett88:
543) You have posted on this thread with two different names ( I have I have )
544) You have more posts than this does replies. ( I do I do )
Sharga:
545) You paint a red hammer above your room so no one without permission comes in.
546) You recreate the Hammer torture chamber, just in case someon starts to annoy you.... he he he
547) You trade in all of your keys for a pair of lock picks.
Jayle:
548) You've been to almost every Thief forum out there and feel compelled to post atleast once on every "1000 clues you've been playing Thief way too much" thread. And believe me, there are a lot of Thief forums with a lot of "clues" out there.
Sharga:
549) You play the "maximum evidence style".
MoccoMouse:
550 you spend the night camped out on your roof with a bow and arrow, scrutinizing everyone who looks the faintest bit like a Guard or a zombie.
551) you continually find yourself making vague maps of the houses of everyone you know.
552) your neighbours are finding that small things, like audio cassetes or pieces of jewelry are missing after theve had you over for a Barbque or a party.
553) you are incapable of crossing the street at night because of the street lights.
554) you decide to use a homemade grappaling hook to crawl up the side of the street lights, smashing the glass with a basball bat and throwing water on it just so you can cross the street safely.
Mr Croft on 4/11/1999 at 18:48
MoccoMouse:
555) the only way your are capable of going to sleep is sitting tensely in a corner on the floor in a black robe and all the lights turned of.
556) you decide that many of the things on this list are a good idea, and you wonder why you never thought of them before.
557) you go through the entire game in your sleep, working out before unheard-of ways of killing the undead that actually work.
558) you realize the only way were going to make it to 1,000 is for as many of us as possible to stay up all night posting as fast as we can.
559) You don't realize it is a bad thing to stay up until 11:20 P.M. posting on this list is a bad thing!!!
Risquit:
560) You "hide" in the shadows in Kingpin and get wasted by the enemy.
Fred Chook:
561) You rewrite 'Prisoner of Society', The theme from 'The Brady Brunch' and 'Barbie Girl' to be Thief-Related.
Sharga:
What does shorah mean?
562) You write long threads that bicker pointlessly over shroom tea.
563) You have completed the game in every style that has been made up, and more.
Alive:
564) You are genuinely outraged when all those other stupid people (be it real life, on tv or in a book) just walk by that beautiful, shiny candlestick.
Wyclef:
565) You start to think your grandpa looks suspiciously like Constantine. (He does.)
Wrighter:
566) You have bruises all over your body from walking around your house at night with the lights off..
sid:
567) You want to climb a ladder and think that the only way you can do this is by jumping towards it (as opposed to stepping up onto like real people). The ladder bounces against the wall and you lose your balance/footing, falling backwards and requiring immediate medical attention.
568) You become bored with "maximum evidence style" so you switch to the "maximum bastard style" (or "maximum bitch" in my case).
569) You've played Thief so much that you discover that there actually is indeed a purpose for that blue key in Sword.
Coldrake:
570) You go downtown and pile up all the passed out drunks in a dark alley.
Garrett88:
571) You are addicted to shroom tea.
Para?noid:
572) You gain this innate ability to stack boxes over each other, and not have them topple down. Observe:
@ = box
----> Rooftops!
@
@
@
@
@
Dodgy Physics engine. tsk.
Cuttey:
573) You can't believe that all of the valuables in a museum aren't floating in the air.
574) when you go into a store to buy lockpicks you make sure that the store manager puts on a bullet, or arrow, proof vest before you purchase anything.
Para?noid:
575) You steal another fat nobleman's trinket.
Mr Croft on 4/11/1999 at 18:49
trickster:
576) At work, your greatest fear is that you are going to be assigned "monster baby-sitting."
Ace:
577) While visiting a dinosaur museum, you shout "There's a burrick!!" and run away screaming.
Sharga:
578) You are no longer afraid of
H
E I G h t s
579) You envy Garret: he doesn't have to worry about going to the bathroom.
580) You are so used to being Garret that you no longer buy shoes.
Alchemyst:
Shorah, and good night.
I realized the moment I fell into the fissure that the Book would not be destroyed as I had planned...
Thief with Riven graphics. Think about it.
581) You have a medical tag with the following words on it: Thief: The Dark Project If found unconcious, please make zombie noises to revive.
582) You copy the entire Thief CD to your hard drive in the hopes that the game will load faster.
583) You unzip every file on the Thief CD to your hard drive then go through and read/listen to them all.
584) You figured out how to edit the dark.cfg file without the patch.
585) You swear never to post here again then you break that promise.
586) You unzip the file books.crf file and read all the documents inside. Then you go back and play each level on all three dificulties just to see if you can find all the messages.
I'm guilty of the last one. I still haven't made it through every level though.
Alchemyst:
587) You've bookmarked your favorite Thief URL's but find that it's faster to type in the addresses. (Which you just happen to have memorized.)
588) You can type 75 wpm with one hand and have remapped the keyboard so that you can complete any mission without using the mouse.
589) You took the time to learn to type one handed so that you could play and eat frozen pizza at the same time.
I'm guilty of that last one too.
590) You post a topic to this list, then come up with a new topic just as you hit the submit button. So you go back and post a message right after your last post. Soon you are the only one posting to this list.
591) You go to your local library and check out every book that pertains to thieves, weird religions, masonry, ghosts, etc.
If you're a science fiction fan check out the Stainless Steal Rat series by Harry Harrison. The first book is "A Stainless Steal Rat is Born."
592) You go back and play every mission trying to get Garrett and all the other characters to say every single thing you found in the sound.crf file.
593) You are registered on this forum under multiple names so that you can post (anonymously) to yourself when no one else is answering your questions.
IP: Logged
Sharga:
593) You are extremely interested in Marquees and their effect
Rolander
594) You have another dream about a night of tomb raiding with:
1) Arrow traps
2) Zombies (and I even dreamt that I was shooting them with fire arrows, aiming for their navels, and when surrounded though of flash bombs!!!)
3) Roof hopping
--------
This is especially weird since I only played the demos of Bafford & Assassins. Hence no contact with arrow traps & zombies, and have never tried roof hopping...
It's real, of course. I just woke up after dreaming it...